I Feel, Therefore I Am

I've been thinking about something.

Passion.

No, not that kind of passion, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean passion as in feeling passionately about something. I had already been thinking about this in regards to my never-ending blog posts about Twilight, when I came across a blog post (of someone I don't know) that really touched a nerve with me. The post was titled Public Obsessions and basically bashed people who are outspoken about their passions. It said, among other things, that these people throw the words LOVE and HATE around too much, and that they are somehow doing their loved ones a disservice by saying "I LOVE my family" and also "I LOVE Twilight." It said they rely on something like a book or a movie to define themselves.

Okay, I could go a little crazy right now, but I'm going to attempt to stay calm, cool and collected and discuss this in an adult manner.

I am an extremely passionate person. (If you read my blog regularly, this will come as no surprise to you.) I have always been this way. When I find something I LOVE, I LOOOOVVVE it. When something bugs me, it bugs the holy CRAP out of me. When something makes me mad (like that post) it infuriates me. And when something makes me sad or hurt, it nearly destroys me.

I used to worry, and sometimes still do, that I take it too far. To the point of obsession. I have also always had this tendency. My mom has always said, "It's a good thing you never tried drugs because you would have been in big trouble." Sad, but oh so true. I have a very addictive personality. When I was diagnosed with a mild form of OCD, I actually thought, "Well that explains a lot."

But now...I embrace this quality. I LOVE being passionate. I LOVE feeling strongly about things. It makes me feel alive. I have to take an anti-depressant every day of my life that quite possibly numbs me in many ways (I see signs that this is the case every day). So when I feel something, and I feel it strongly, you better believe I'm gonna take it and run with it.

When I found Twilight, I was shocked at how strongly I reacted to it. I still don't know exactly why, but I have my theories, the main one being that I have always been a die-hard romantic and this LOVE story appealed to me in a way no other had before. It just seemed to bring something alive in me. I LOVE the way it makes me feel. I LOVE the warm, happy feeling I get when I think about it.

Does this mean my testimony has suffered somehow? Does my LOVE for Twilight somehow take away my LOVE for my Heavenly Father or my religion? Or my family? Heeeeeeck no. Because that's how passionate I am. I have just that much LOVE to go around.

Does Twilight define me? Contrary to what many believe, no. I am a complex, multi-layered person. There are many, many parts to me. Twilight just so happens to appeal to the part of me that I feel exceptionally passionate about: LOVE. And romance. And those are parts of me, parts that define me. Along with tons of other parts that also define me. It makes me happy and so I think about it. I talk about it. I read about it. I blog about it. One day, guaranteed, it will fade away and I will be sad.

Is it okay for people to be passionate about things? Yes, it's okay. Is it okay for people to be excited about said things and blog about them and even get a license plate declaring their LOVE for said things? Yes, it's okay. Is it okay for people who aren't so passionate to be judgemental and holier-than-thou about people who are? No--NOT okay.

Note to those people: While you're still standing in line trying to decide which movie to see, we'll be blowing past you, heading into the theater, Twilight ticket in hand. How do you like them apples?

TheTwilight Before Christmas

My Grown Up Christmas List

My husband just walked past me and saw the pictures I was putting on my post and said that maybe I should try doing a post that doesn't have anything to do with Twilight. I scowled at him and insisted this post was NOT about Twilight. It is about stuff I want for Christmas. If something(s) I want happens to be Twilight related, well then, in the words of Pam: suck it.

So here's my Wish List this year:

this Cherry Blossom pendant

Jessica Sprague's Digital Scrapbooking Classes

Twilight: The Complete Illustrated Movie Companion



This 8x10 photograph

these dishes



Twilight: The Score

and


a gift card to this store

What's on your Wish List?
(Oh, that just sounded way too much like a Walmart commercial.)

Obsess Much?

Me: Bill, can I go see Twilight?
Bill: Again? Seriously?
Me: Um, yeah.
Bill: Don't you think four times is a little excessive?
Me: Um, no. It's Twilight. (Shakes head in disbelief)
Bill: We really should be saving our money for Christmas presents.
Me: Whatever, a movie ticket is less than ten dollars. (Exactly one dollar less than ten dollars.)
Bill: I think you'll be okay if you miss a week of seeing it while it's in the theater.
Me: You don't know me at all! (Runs away crying)

Okay, the above conversation never really took place, but this is pretty much how I envision it going down if I ask to go see Twilight again. Because I don't feel like going to marriage counseling just yet (besides, the therapist would totally side with me), I'm going to have to make do with the next best thing: listening to the soundtrack while looking at my favorite movie stills online. Thank you thank you thank you Marilyn for my beloved Twilight soundtrack. I have listened to it over, and over, and over. I LOVE it. And last week I stumbled upon some new pictures from the movie, which was incredibly exciting since the same twenty pictures have been circulating the internet up until now.

So here are my favorite scenes/pictures and songs:

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
(the baseball scene)


This is just a great picture. I'm pretty sure it's where
Edward says, "I tell you I can read people's minds, and
you think something's wrong with you..." Love that part.

Full Moon - The Black Ghosts
(the song that starts right after Edward catches the deer
at the beginning, when Bella is moving to Forks. One of
my favorites on the soundtrack.)

Another favorite scene, albeit a quick one. It's one of the
very few scenes where they're relaxed and happy and
just enjoying being together. And Edward looks hawt in
his 80's sunglasses.

Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park
(I can't remember what part of the movie this is on,
but I love this song, and I love Linkin Park)

I just really like this picture of them laughing.
I'm fairly certain it's not in the movie, I think it's
between takes. Because Bella is smiling.

Eyes On Fire - Blue Foundation

(LOVE this song. This is when Bella is trying
to figure out why Edward disappeared from school
after the first time they met.)

This really wasn't a favorite part of the movie,
I just love any shots of Oregon pretending to be
Washington.

I love this picture, a) because of the sign in it and
b) because the caption underneath it on the website where
I found it said that it's The Gorge. This is what they're
overlooking when they're up in the tree.

Yeah...ahem...favorite scene...moving on...


Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine
(You might be familiar with this song from here;
it is beautiful, but I must confess the main reason I love
it is because it plays during this scene:)


Bella's Lullaby - Carter Burwell
(My favorite song on the soundtrack, which goes with my
second favorite scene:)


Clair de Lune - APM Orchestra
(I've always loved this song, but now it is permanently ingrained
in my head as the song that Edward twirls Bella to.)



This isn't in the movie, I just had never seen it before
and really like it.


and....

along with the beauties above, I found these treasures:

They could have taken any still in the movie and Jasper
would have looked exactly like this:


The one time Edward is the opposite of sexy


Oh, the horror...my eyes...MY EYES!!!


and this one I had to save for last.
I still can't believe that of the 20 odd movie stills available
online, this somehow managed to be one of them.
The 2 seconds of the movie that still make me wake up
in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.


Do you see the elbow grabbing? The shoving of the arm into
the mouth? The eye popping? Why, oh WHY did they have
to desecrate the image of perfection in my head that is Edward?
Why.......................................why.............................?????

Okay, to end on a good note, here's a new one of Rob
I'd never seen before. Grrrr....

See Our Debut

Bet you didn't know we had moves like this.

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Wall of Lame

My cousin Michelle did this on her blog and I thought it would be so fun to do...until I read through the whole thing and saw how many things she had done and realized how LAME mine would be. It's embarrassing, really. But then I thought, well, maybe I'll do it just to show how lame I really am. So here goes:

Copy this list to your own blog and highlight those things you've done.

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain (it was more like a large hill)

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping (as if I'd fess up)

27. Run a marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse (of the heart?)

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's The David

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight (with my brother...so romantic)

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie (one day...one day.)

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check (seriously Michelle...NEVER?!)

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book (one day....one day.)
81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club (but joining was as far as it got)

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee (stepped on a dead one)

100. Totally copied a post from someone else's blog to your own

See? What did I tell you? Lame. Feel free to copy this and do it on your blog. After my list you'll feel really good about yourself.

10 Things Revealed In Twilight The Movie That Were Never Revealed In The Book

1. Edward drove a hatchback. Oh no he di'n't! I can't tell you how disturbed I am by the car he drove in the movie. Edward would never drive a hatchback.



2. Forks is a racially diverse place. Funny how Stephenie led us to believe that Forks is made up two kinds of people: White and whiter. Who knew Tyler Crowley was black? Or Laurent?! I'm pretty sure "dreadlocks" don't appear anywhere in the text.


3. Bella has an affinity for flannel. (And bowling shirts?) Oh, I get it, because it's Northwest Washington, right? So obviously all the high-schoolers are rockin' oversized, plaid flannel shirts, Cobain-style. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Twilight producers, but grunge hasn't been cool since Smells Like Teen Spirit was topping the charts.



4. Vampires fly Superman-style. It was never mentioned that Edward soared from tree to tree--vertically, no less--or scaled trees with his hands and feet. Those close up shots of their faces as they're soaring through the air, Bella's hair flying, look exactly like Clark Kent and Lois Lane did (even the quality of the special effects, which, I'm sorry, should be better than a movie made in 1978). What's at the top of my Christmas Wish List? A nice, fat budget for New Moon. And no more vampires flying from tree to tree.



5. Jacob has fangs. Who knew? You'd think this would be something Stephenie would have felt compelled to share with us. A werewolf with fangs? Intriguing. Maybe Jacob is actually some new mythological creature--half vampire/half werewolf. So--just humor me here--once Renesmee is finally old enough to hook up with Jacob (which should be about any time now) and they procreate, their offspring would be, what? A half werewolf/half vampire/half human with the only real set of fangs? I smell sequel!



6. Bella's friends were cool. Interesting how Stephenie kept Jessica's humor a secret, (or the fact that she was entertaining in any way) never spoke of Angela's glasses or 92 lb. body, and failed to mention that Eric Yorkie was a "hip, attractive Gaysian." (Okay, I stole that line from another website.) Seriously, who knew Bella's friends were actually people we'd want to hang out with?


7. Edward has chest hair. It's funny, but in all 9,572 descriptions of Edwards cold, hard, glistening, marble-like, gleaming, muscular (jump in at any time) chest, I don't recall ever seeing the word hairy. It could very well have been there, though, slipped in among the myriad adjectives, and no one would ever have noticed. I just can't take Edward's "perfect" body seriously with fuzz poking out the top of his shirt. Now, I don't promote shaving or waxing of chest hair by any means, but I think in this case, where someone is portraying an immortal character with skin made of smooth stone and the sexiest chest known to man, maybe waxing should have been on the to-do list for Rob's hair and makeup. You know, right after "muss hair" and "apply lipstick liberally."



8. Bella wears makeup. Speaking of lipstick, I find it hilarious that in the books, neither Bella nor Edward wear a stitch of makeup, and yet in the movie, they both do. In Edward's case, he's wearing red lipstick like nobody's business, obviously to attain the whole vampire look. As for Bella, she's not just wearing "movie makeup" that all actors have to wear. No, her character is actually wearing lipstick, mascara, and eye shadow. I love this, because it's like they read in the book that Bella didn't wear makeup (according to Edward, she didn't "need to." Blech.) and thought, "yeah, right" (just like all the rest of us did) and decided to make her a normal teenage girl who wouldn't be caught dead leaving the house without makeup.



9. Forks High School students are health conscious. I dare you to find a scene in the movie where one of the teenagers is eating anything resembling junk food. Apparently in Forks you're not cool unless you're eating a salad, veggies, or a garden burger. Bella's a vegetarian? Was that supposed to be some kind of tongue-in-cheek comparison to the Cullen's eating habits? There wasn't a single shot of any kid eating a hot dog, hamburger, pizza, etc. Nope, it was salad, vegetables, and salad for these kids. And salad. They even have Rosalie munching on a carrot! What the heck?! Details, people, details.



10. Vampires love monkey references. Two quotes that didn't make it into the book, but sadly, made it into the movie: EDWARD: "You better hold on tight, spider monkey." ROSALIE: "My monkey man." Uh.....awkward. Weird. Not funny. What's with the monkeys? Here's one that didn't make it into the final cut: BELLA: "Edward, I want to be like you. Change me. Change me now." EDWARD: "Yeah, when monkeys fly out of my butt." Where was that one?!

Oh, and I just have to add that this is Edward's car, as chosen by Stephenie Meyer, taken right off her website:

Look at that--NO HATCHBACK!!