I never thought it'd be so hard to blog so much. Me? Run out of things to say? As it so happens, my life isn't as interesting as I thought. I thought my problem with blogging more often would be forgetting to, or lack of desire, not lack of material. What if people don't care about the fact that I did absolutely nothing today? What if I'm not too keen on advertising that fact? But I don't want to be that person that I always end up being, making grand declarations and not following through with them. And so, I blog.

I may have done nothing today but last night I did. And I mean literally, all night, while the rest of you slept soundly in your beds, I was wide awake. All night. Because I slept all day. Because I still didn't feel good and it's completely thrown my sleep schedule off. Anywho, by 5:30 this morning I gave up hope of getting tired and had a sudden desire to work on the "about the author" page on my website. Yes, I have a website, my very own .com but I can't tell you what it is yet cause its not ready. Cause I've been dragging my feet. Until last night. I mean this morning. Very, very early this morning. I sat in the dark and wrote 10o interesting (I hope) facts about myself, ranging from my love of desserts to my childhood nicknames. It was really fun to do. Then, after FINALLY falling asleep at 6:30 and getting a few hours of sleep under my belt, I woke up and thought about my list and realized that some facts that seemed totally appropriate to share with the world at 5:30 am on no sleep didn't seem so much anymore. Not to mention the fact that I had two number 34's, was missing numbers 72-75, and stated my age as 33, not 32. So I revised and re-edited (like the good little author that I am) and came up with what I hope is an entertaining (but not too revealing) list of things about me.

With that done, all I have left to do is write up a quick summary of my book (so ridiculously easy i have no idea why I've put it off) and we can launch this thing! I can't wait! Seriously, it will be awesome. I can't wait for you all to see it.

But now I'm gonna be a good girl and attempt to put my phone down and go to sleep cause 8:30 church is coming whether I want it to or not!

Things I'm thinking about today:

-Marketing. I've never done it before, I have no idea how to do it, and I'm expected to do it. Perfect recipe for anxiety.

-Money. Why is it either feast or famine? Why can't it be, like, always feast?

-Writing. I'm itching to do it again, only I don't know where to begin. I need to start my sequel but I need to decide a few things before I can begin.

-Sickness. It sucks.

-Sleeping. Why am I obsessed with it?

-Kids. They're growing. Way too fast.

-Cats. Why do they insist on pooping on the floor a foot away from their freshly cleaned litter box?

-Reading. I finished my book club book and have $30 sitting in my Amazon account just begging to be used. The possibilities are endless!

-Friends. I love mine. I wish I could tell them without freaking them out.

-Basketball. Macy had her first practice today. There goes my Tuesday and Thursday nights. On the plus side, she loved it. (Any 9 or 10 year olds wanting to join? Her team has a few spots left and she would LOVE to have a friend on it. We don't know anyone on it.)

-Cowboys and Aliens. Just finished watching it. It was okay.

-Diets. I'm sorry, "lifestyle change." It's just not happening. I need a miracle. I need to feel okay about my body. I need to look good in my itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini in Hawaii. Did that make you laugh? The thought of me in a bikini? Well it should have, and if it didn't, you have no sense of humor at all.

-Hawaii. Cause I'm always thinking about Hawaii.

-Bedtime. Yeah right! This is the one time of day I don't think about sleep.

I'm out.

Sicko

Oh, how I love to be sick. It's not very often that I get this kind of sick; the kind that is actually something you can catch from someone else and isn't just some kind of unexplained "don't feel good." I woke up yesterday morning with a slight sore throat. By mid-day it was more than slight. By evening it was making my head ache. (Which was extra fun preparing for a house full of Bunco friends.) This morning I woke up...and rolled over and went back to sleep. All day. This isn't unheard of for me, but at least this time I had a valid excuse to do so. I finally forced myself out of bed at dinnertime and now I'm sitting here wishing I could go back to bed, but even sleeping doesn't feel good anymore. My throat hurts, my head hurts, and it feels like someone is pumping air into my head. Good times, good times.

But Bunco was fun, even hosting it, which always stresses me out big-time. I can never relax enough to enjoy the game. Am I moving it along too fast? Am I going too slow? Is my house too hot? Too cold? Is my cat rubbing up against people's legs and I'm totally oblivious to it? (I sometimes forget that not everyone is a cat-lover like me, and that, in fact, there are some people--shocking as it may seem--that actually hate cats. Go figure.) But all went well. My fellow Bunco players raved about my dinner (tortilla soup, my absolute fave), my new home decor they hadn't seen since I'd switched it out, and, as always seems to be the case when I host for some bizarre reason, I won High Score, the biggest prize you can win at Bunco. ($20 gift card to Target, holla!)

Now my hubby is at basketball and I have to decide if I want to curl up on the couch and watch something good or get in the bath and finish my book for book club, which is always something I love to do when I'm not feeling good. But that would mean having to clean my bath first, so...looks like watching something it is.

Memory Lanes

Today we took our kids bowling for the first time ever. It was one of those things that made me feel like I could put on my "Good Mom" badge, even though the whole thing was Bill's idea. Today was the last day of his 10 day vacation and he wanted to spend it doing something fun. So bowling we went. It was definitely pricier than I'd thought it would be, but I have to say, it was totally worth it. The kids had a blast, and, frankly, I'd forgotten about my stellar bowling skillz.

"Take a picture of our hideous shoes." --Macy

That's right. I pretty much rocked the lanes. I took a picture of the scoreboard after our first game but it was too tiny and blurry to show the multiple X's across the board and the final score of 140, which happened to be the highest number on the screen. Hidden talent? You could say that.

I think the best part, though (besides beating Bill), was watching Payson try and chuck the ball that was bigger than him down the lane. It was priceless. It only flew out of his hand on the back swing twice. And I must have passed on my bowling genes to Macy, cause she got the hang of it really quickly. I nicknamed her the Spare Queen, cause she got one almost every time (with the aid of the bumpers, but, still.) All in all, it was an awesome time that I will always treasure.

Now I am in full panic mode because I am hosting Bunco at my house tomorrow night and my house isn't clean (that was my idea of what we should do today), I have no groceries, no idea what to make for dinner, no prizes, no idea what to even do for prizes. I usually give myself two full days to get ready for Bunco. Tomorrow promises to be insane. Wish me luck.

Apparantly Surfing Movies Make Me Cry

The first day of 2012 went fairly well. I woke up at the crack of dawn to be to church by 8:30. (1 week down, only 51 to go) I embarrassed myself by sleeping through the second half of the first hour like I knew I would, and then I spent the last two hours chasing around five toddlers as opposed to 17, which was, needless to say, fabulous. Then I came home and took a nap for a length of time that I am neither proud of or going to disclose. (New Year's Resolution #4: Sleep less = FAIL) I woke up to the smell of frozen lasagna baking in the oven that my amazing husband threw in for me so I didn't have to wake up (even though I was weeeeeell past the time that I should have) and had a yummy family dinner, after which we decided to watch Soul Surfer, which Macy got for Christmas.

This is where my day took a bizarre turn. I had heard that the movie was good. Really good. Clean, feel-good, inspiring. What I wasn't told was that it would inexplicably become the third movie I would ever cry during. Literally. The third. And I didn't just well up and squeeze out a tear or two. I cried. And cried and cried and cried. And when I wasn't actually crying my eyes were burning, tears hovering on the brink just waiting for the next emotional moment to send them over the edge. And then I was crying some more. I have no idea why. There was just something about this girl, experiencing one of the most tragic, horrific things imaginable (getting her arm bit off by a shark, for those of you who don't know what Soul Surfer is about) and just going back out there, trying her hardest to continue to do what she loved most in the world. Now, I know there are 6, 394 other "don't give up" movies out there with the exact same message, and, if I'm being honest, I usually can't stand them. I find them incredibly cheesy and I hate being made to feel emotional. (Don't tug at these heartstrings, they are un-tugable.) But when this girl's arm disappeared down a shark's throat and she's paddling one-armed to shore in shock, she's muttering a prayer, over and over. And something about that--her faith--hit me hard, and for the rest of the dang movie, I was a blubbering mess.

I want that kind of faith. I want to know that if I'm ever out surfing and a shark attacks me and rips off my arm (highly probable), that instead of screaming my head off and thrashing around, I pray. She was such an example to me. If you haven't seen this movie, see it. Besides the message of faith, it also stresses family togetherness, positivity, service, and forgiveness. Seriously, I can't say enough good things about it. Oh, and as a bonus, it takes place in Kauai, Hawaii, where Bill and I will be in June!!! So excited.

Now the day is over but thanks to my lengthy nap, I'm on the opposite side of the world from tired. Thank goodness for iPhone games.

Day 1, 2012: success.

So Long, 2011

This is the background on my phone right now. There are no words for how much I love it.

According to urban legend, this may well be the last New Year's Eve we ever celebrate. I could stop and think about this for a while, and let the anxiety run its course until I find myself curled up in the fetal position muttering things like "water supply" and "food storage," but instead I will opt to move on and think of happier things. Like a new year looming in the very near distance, bringing with it a chance to throw out things in my life best left behind, and a chance to introduce some much-needed things that have sadly been missing from it. I'm not going to list what these things are. This is not a resolution post. History has proven that if I speak it, or write it down, it will inevitably crash and burn a painful, fiery death. Call me superstitious, or call me smart (both are accurate, in my opinion). Or better yet, text me. Either way, mums the word. I'm not declaring my resolutions this year, but I have made them, and I'm very excited to begin bettering myself.

Okay, maybe this is a resolution post. But not that kind. I resolve not to set myself up by revealing what I've resolved to do. Otherwise I may as well call it a list of things that will most definitely not happen in 2012.

There is one thing about 2012 that I can talk about, though, because it is incapable of being jinxed. It will happen, no matter what I do or say: 2012 may just be the biggest year of my life, with the obvious exceptions of 1979, when I was born; 2000, when I was married; 2001, when I had my daughter; and 2003, when I had my son. It will undoubtedly make the list of top five, and, if the doomsday-ers are correct, and 2012 is the last year we'll be here, then let's just say I'll go out with a bang.

In April my book will come out, and that is a fact. And after that...I have no idea. I have no idea how it may or may not change my life, and that giant question mark is no small amount of exhilarating. I love the unknown, at least about this. I can't wait to see where my little ol' book will go, or not go. Maybe I'll be the next Stephenie Meyer, and within a few years I'll be a household name and my book will be made into a movie and my husband can quit his job because of the millions I'll be making. Or maybe it will only be read by my friends and family and a handful of others and that'll be that. And that will be fine with me. Because all I need is to see my book, with my name on the cover, sitting on a shelf in some bookstore, and I can die happy. But no one knows. And I love that. What an exciting year 2012 will be.

So goodbye, 2011. 2012, I welcome you with open arms.

Heck Yes, I'll Blog

So my sweet sister told me on Christmas that my blog was calling my name, demanding my attention. I thanked her graciously then politely informed her that my blog was the only one missing my presence in the blogosphere. Her response showed the wisdom I've always admired in her. She said, "So what. Write anyway. Write a little bit each day and pretty soon people will start reading again, and maybe, hopefully, even commenting again." (This coming from the woman who deleted her own blog after about five posts in as many months.)

"IF YOU WRITE IT, THEY WILL COME."

That's basically what she was saying. And I realized she was right. And even if she's not, I don't care. I want to write, and I want to write every day. One of my very besties made it her New Years Resolution last year to blog every day of 2011. (Less than a week to go Rach!) While she didn't quite make it every single day, for the most part she did it and it was awesome. At the time I thought she was crazy but now I'm doing what I do best which is eating crow and doing something I said or at least thought to myself I'd never do. Hopefully this resolution fares better than my own ambitious one last year, the No Sugar For a Year project that was doomed before it began.

Anywho, I'll be here, most days, jotting down a thought or two (or ten or twelve) and basically saying whatever the heck is on my mind. Cause that's the beauty of blogs, and that's why I started this thing in the first place 5 years ago. If you feel so inclined, stop on by and pay me a visit. Maybe drop me a note in the comment box if you feel like making my day. Or not. Whatever. I'll still keep writing, regardless. I may even throw in a picture or two sometimes, if I'm feeling fancy. Who knows? It might get crazy up in herr.

But now I must sleep. And by sleep I mean read for another hour.