Friday, July 2, 2010



Grrr...these movies are so hard for me to review so I'm just gonna warn you now that you may hate everything I say.

I liked Eclipse more than I liked Twilight and less than I liked New Moon. I know, I know, I'm sure you thought Eclipse was the best one yet...everyone seems to think so. But not me. Why? I'm not entirely sure but I'll do my best to explain.

The main reason is the "feel" of the movie, which can be attributed primarily to the acting. I'm not saying it's bad acting. It's just...weird, and something about it completely rubs me the wrong way. A lot. Right from the very first scene with Bella and Edward sitting in the meadow talking and kissing. Even when they weren't kissing their mouths were a fraction of an inch apart and they just kept moving around and it was just. so. awkward. They seem soooo uncomfortable around each other, so unnatural. Yes, I understand that Edward is struggling to not eat her, but their relationship in the book is comfortable, natural, easy, at least by Eclipse. Not please-make-it-stop-before-I-jab-my-own-eyes-out. It seriously makes me think of my first boyfriend in middle school, when I would meet him in the hallway, trying desperately to think of anything to say to him while shuffling my feet and praying he wouldn't try to kiss me. You know it's really bad when my favorite parts of the movie were the comic relief moments (which, in all other movies, make me cringe).

The rest of the Cullens, while not quite as bad, are not far behind. We see a lot more of some of them, which means a lot more Jasper and his hair. Oh, the hair. Eclipse brings us a less-blonde Jasper with a lady wig. Because, you know, we weren't laughing at him enough before. The good news is that it seems like the more lines he had, the more normal he actually acted. So, that's a plus.

All of this leads me to why I have almost completely converted to Team Jacob. I love Taycob. (That's Jacob as played by Taylor Lautner) He is, in my humble opinion, the only easy thing in the movie to watch. And I don't just mean easy on the eyes, which, let's admit, he totally is. I mean he moves easily, he talks normally, he acts comfortable. He truly is Jacob--sunshine, healthy, easy. And, he now holds the title of delivering the best line in a movie, ever (to Edward): "Face it, I'm hotter than you." (I can't help but wonder if that wasn't more of a joke about the reaction to a buff Taylor Lautner in New Moon compared to pasty, scrawny Rob.)

Of course I wouldn't be a true Twi-hard if I didn't hate the changes that they made. I don't mind little changes that were necessary for the big screen. But I hate changes that don't seem to have any purpose behind them, and even more than that I hate changes that are so obviously for time's sake or transitioning from one thing to the next. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I understand what I mean completely. :) There were no less than three incredibly obvious ones in Eclipse, which knocked it down a few notches for me. And what the heck was the big idea with completely eliminating the epilogue?! I sat waiting for Jacob to get his wedding invitation in the mail all the way through the credits. Yup. The entire theater had emptied but I stayed, because I refused to accept that they just didn't put that in the movie. Losers.

But, being that same loyal Twi-hard, I had to appreciate the things they kept the same, especially little details that they totally didn't have to keep in there. The only one that comes to mind right now is (blushing) when Edward and Bella are going at it on the bed, just before Edward dutifully stops Bella from seducing him, he grabs her knee and hikes it up around his waist. Loved it. Also, they nailed the tent scene, which is really all I cared about anyway.

There are probably 55,000 other things I could (and would) say about the movie but I've probably filled you all with more negativity than you wanted to hear about it already so I will stop. Ironically enough, I can't wait to go see it again, if only to see the parts I loved again, but also because I'm pretty sure I'll like it better the second time around.

*Update* As predicted, it was MUCH better the second time. Much. Not that anything changed, just that I was prepared for the crappy parts and excited for the good parts.

Movie Queen Rating: Somewhere between PG (pretty good) and PG-13 (eh)

Movie Queen Rating The Second Time Around: PG (pretty good)