Friday, January 22, 2010

Weighing In On Hot Topics

American Idol Judges


I thought she annoyed me last season.
Then this season started.
Suddenly the pursed lips, fake sexy lisp, and theatrical movements are almost physically painful for me to watch.

I never thought I'd miss Paula.


Love him. As always.
He is the only real thing about the show. Which is why next season will completely suck. I don't know if I'll be able to watch it.


Can't. Wait.


My heart aches for this country. I can't wrap my brain around the extent of the devastation, the number of deaths, the pain and the suffering, the nightmare these people are living that they can't get out of. I wish there was more I could do to help. But since I can't fly over there and offer my services, I'm so grateful for people that can, and did, like my cousin Matt. Read about what he's doing here.

The NBC Fiasco

If I had a giant hammer, and a couple hundred dollars to throw around, and security access to NBC Headquarters, I'd fly to New York and hit CEO Jeff Zucker upside the head. I seriously CANNOT imagine what the idiots at NBC think they are doing, but I'm guessing their last meeting before this crap started went something like this:

Idiot #1: "Leno's ratings are down. Apparently he's not funny at 10:00, only at 11:30."
Idiot #2: "Well then we must get him back to 11:30."
Idiot #1: "I love it! Even though the viewers think Conan is substantially funnier than Leno and The Tonight Show is better than ever, I see this is the answer to everything. Oust the funny, popular host for the boring, has-been host. Genius idea, pure genius."
Idiot #2: "That's what they pay me the big bucks for."

I cannot believe tonight is Conan's last show. I am boycotting The Tonight Show from there on out. I would boycott NBC if it weren't for The Office and 30 Rock.

Conan, I will follow you wherever you go.


Monday, January 11, 2010

Hippo Krit

One thing I am proud to claim as a strength is the fact that I am not ashamed to admit when I am wrong. If I believe that I am right, I will fight it to the death. But if I realize I am wrong, I will immediately admit it. Believe me, there have been plenty of times. I can think of several examples throughout my life where I have had a nice plate of crow for dinner. Like, when I had serious doubts about a friend's decision to get engaged to a guy she met online, only to get engaged to an onliner of my own a few months later...without even meeting the guy first. Or the time I judged a family member for getting pregnant only three months after getting married, only to have a bun in the oven myself a mere month after getting married. So, yeah, I am the queen of saying "I'll never do that" and then totally doing it later on. The Lord has a way of teaching me valuable lessons about judging or saying "I'll never." I (try to) refrain from using that phrase anymore, because it will inevitably happen. (I tried saying "I'll never be a millionaire" but so far it hasn't paid off.)

Where am I going with this? I'm getting to it. Remember this post? Yeah, well, I'm feeling a bit foolish now. Because some idiot out there with nothing better to do with his/her time has felt the need to start commenting on completely random, old posts of mine with the most ridiculous, nonsensical crap. My old arch-nemesis, Anonymous. Curse you Anonymous!! One day I will find out who you are and I will thrown down, be sure of that.

Why do I care? One, because I don't want their word vomit in my archives, saved on this digital journal of mine, and two, because I get their stupid comments emailed to me and I'm getting at least one a day. Curious about said comments? Here's just a few of the gems:
Anonymous said...

It agree, it is an amusing piece

Anonymous said...

Bravo, the excellent answer.

Anonymous said...

The authoritative answer, funny...I can suggest to visit to you a site on which there is a lot of information on a theme interesting you.

Another was all in Spanish and one that I can't find but wish I could asked me where they could find a unicorn. They are all on posts that are at least 6-18 months old and have nothing to do with what I talked about.
So, needless to say, I am feeling a bit violated and want to put an end to this, even if it means being the biggest hypocrite on the planet. From here on out, you (and by you I mean my five commenters out there) will have to type in gibberish in order to comment. So there, computer-generated Anonymous. Who's laughing now?

Thursday, January 7, 2010

January Blues

You knew it had to be coming, right? My annual Post-Christmas Blues post? It is January, after all. Every year around Christmas I think, "I'm feeling great. I really think I might avoid the blues this year. Why would it suddenly change just because Christmas is over?" Oh, but give it a week or two. It'll come. It always does.

It was just a few days ago that I realized The Blues were in full force. I stopped to assess my life and, sure enough, the evidence was undeniable.

-Pity and self-loathing over failed resolutions? Check.
-Feeling akin to a deflated balloon after the hype of Christmas came to an end? Check.
-Desire to sleep and play pointless games on my phone overpower any desire to do an actual hobby? Check.
-Making myself feel better for failing my diet by eating chocolate? Check.
-Trying to remember how two weeks ago I was caught up in the Christmas Spirit? Check.

See, it's all there, written all over my makeup-free face. I refuse to admit how many days this week I have not gotten dressed at all. Of course, I've been using my head cold as justification for that, but only I know that really it's because getting dressed is something that happy people do.

The only thing brightening my day today is the hope that maybe you'll find this post entertaining. For past January Blues posts, see my archives. They're all in January. Go figure.