Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Better Days (Or atleast "day")

Today has been better. I woke up and weighed myself as I always do, fully expecting the worst, and I had lost two pounds! That was a nice surprise. Then the cleaning fairy took pity on me after reading my blog and came and made my house sparkle. I cannot tell you how much my mood has improved. Payson continues to squeeze as many bad deeds in while he can before he turns eight and is held accountable for them, but it's somehow easier to deal with being two lbs. lighter with a clean house.
Thank you to everyone for lending a sympathetic ear and offering advice and support. I truly appreciate it. Oh, and the PMS thing was just a joke. I haven't had a period in three years. TMI? Sorry.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007


After reading Sarah's post about having a PMA (positive mental attitude), I took a look at all the things that have been getting me down lately and tried to turn them into positive things. So here goes:

1. After over a month of the Biggest Losers competition, I have lost a total of two pounds and have for some reason reached a point where all I think about is food. Every second. Every day is a battle to not eat everything in my kitchen.
PMA: I am teaching my daughter to have a healthy body image by not being rail thin. Real women have curves, right?

2. Payson has decided that everything out of his mouth will be back-talk and that he will do the exact opposite of what I tell him to do. He throws everything.
PMA: He is independant, out-spoken and a non-conformist. May have a future career as a quaterback.

3. Macy has started pulling out her eyelashes again after five months of letting them grow back to normal.
PMA: Who needs eyelashes, really? I mean, come on, what are they for?

4. I have no desire or willpower to clean my house or do anything, really.
PMA: I don't over-do things and wear myself thin trying to be the perfect housewife. (My husband LOVES this about me.)

5. I have almost no "me" time and am never alone. I don't even do my hobbies anymore.
PMA: No one wants to be lonely, it's good to be surrounded by family. Hobbies can be expensive.

Oh, who am I kidding? I am in a major slump right now and I don't know why or how to get out of it. Any suggestions? (And don't bother with "up your meds". I'm already on the maximum dose. I know, how depressing is that?)

Monday, February 26, 2007

Wretched, Wretched DVR

To combat the Monday morning blues, I thought I'd give you all a laugh at my expense.
Picture me, sitting on my couch in complete bliss, watching the Oscars be handed out, one by one. Finally, after two hours, they finally start getting to the good stuff. I watch Jennifer Hudson make a very shocked, emotional acceptance speech (totally awesome) for Best Supporting Actress and Alan Arkin (who?) read his off a paper, word for word, robotically, for Best Supporting Actor. Then Best Adapted Screenplay, etc.....okay, we're getting closer. Aaaannnndddd.......that's when my DVR screen pops up, that has a brief description of what you've been watching and then has the options down the side like "delete" or "playback". You know, the one that pops up when the thing you recorded has ended.
I looked at Bill (who had recorded it for me). I looked back at my tv screen. I went into my recorded shows and quickly hit the next one that said "Academy Awards: Arrivals" but it started a half hour after the Oscars ended.
Bill, in all his sweet attempts to help me, had set the DVR to record the Academy Awards, as it was shown on the guide page. For some stupid reason, it was shown as only being three hours long, ending at 8:30, followed immediately by Barbara Walters' thing. He didn't think I wanted the Barbara Walters thing, so he skipped it and set it to record the Academy Awards: Arrivals (whatever that was) that was after it.
So that was where my Oscar night ended. After three hours, just before the good awards started. I was in shock. I pathetically kept trying things on my DVR as if it would suddenly magically appear. I even cancelled DVR which took me back to live TV which had been set on the same channel the whole time and tried "rewinding", but it didn't work.
I was so furious, not at Bill but at the whole stupid situation, and in disbelief that the one night a year that I have a little excitement in my life, got cut short and robbed of all the best parts. I was in the worst mood, and my head was killing me (typical Sunday headache) so I got online and dejectedly read who had won, and went to bed. At 10:30.
So Oscar and I are not on such good terms, and I'm still very bitter. As I no longer feel qualified to give a review of the show, I will at least list the winners. (See supporting role winners above.)
Actor in a Leading Role: Forest Whitaker for The Last King of Scotland

Actress in a Leading Role: Helen Mirren for The Queen
Directing: Martin Scorsese for The Departed (his first Oscar ever after a ton of nominations, followed immediately by his second...)
Best Picture: The Departed

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Oscar, How I Love Thee

One day a year,
5+ hours devoted to nothing but movies.
All the A-list actors and actresses
dressed in clothes worth more than me
walking the red carpet
all praying they'll be the one
to go home with the gold statue.
Tears of joy, long-winded speeches,
everything about it makes me dream
of walking that red carpet one day.
I think I'll go practice my
acceptance speech.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Dandy Dandee

Per the request of my wonderful sister-in-law, I am updating my blog. Since I really have nothing interesting to say, I thought I would take the time to tell you just how awesome my sister-in-law is. Here's a few little tidbits to illustrate why I love her:
~When I am sick, she brings my whole family dinner
~She always, ALWAYS has a way of making me feel so good about myself
~She is such an example to me of what a wife, mother, and homemaker should be
~She is always striving to be a better person and be more Christ-like
~She thinks I'm funny
~She makes the best chilli in the whole world
~She has the the biggest, best music library (Marilyn may be her competition)
~She married my brother
~She is the best listener and so understanding
~She is always happy

So there you have it, I have the best sister-in-law anyone could ever ask for and I am so happy I spent the first three days after Ryan got off his mission telling him why he should marry Danyelle. I love ya Dandee!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Life's Simple Pleasures

We all have those little things that make us happy. A little surprise that adds some sunshine to an otherwise overcast day.
One of my very favorite things is when Bill runs to the store for something and comes back with this for me:

A People magazine and a pack of gum. Sometimes it's just the magazine, sometimes it's accompanied with a pop, but either way, it's one of my simplest pleasures.
What little things make you happy?

Monday, February 19, 2007

Color Wonder Confessions

I have a new hobby. It is coloring Crayola Color Wonder pictures. It's become almost an addiction. I have no idea why. I bought some for Payson for Christmas, a Cars one and Thomas the Tank. I sat down with him a few days after Christmas and started coloring.
For those of you who don't know the magic of Color Wonder, the markers are all clear on the inside, but when touched to the Color Wonder paper, the ink turns the color that is indicated on the outside of the marker. So your child can only color on Wonder Color paper, and not the walls or his face. It's really nice if your toddler wants to color with markers.
What they don't tell you, though, is how much fun you'll have doing it. I know it would seem like it's just coloring with markers, but it's not. There's just something about coloring with the clear marker and not seeing anything for a few seconds, and then voila! the color appears.
More exciting than that is that they've "whited" out certain pictures on the page, so that you'll be coloring along and suddenly a picture appears out of nowhere. It's like this unexpected surprise! (Bubbles on Ariel's arm and hair) Or they'll do the opposite, they'll hide a picture within a whited out area so you color over it and suddenly the picture appears. (See Flounder in the background?)
I thought it was fun coloring cars and trains, although the colors were pretty limited. And then I got Macy a girly one so she didn't have to do the cars and trains. And suddenly I can't stop. The new color possibilities are endless! I'm going to have to buy Macy a new book! Every time I walk past it on the kitchen table I sit down and start coloring. I'll finish one and say "This is the last one" and next thing I know I'm flipping the pages for another good one to color. I need help. I really do. But isn't it a pretty picture?

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Big FAT Failure

This week was a great reminder why "just this once won't hurt" does hurt. It started with me getting sick. When I am sick, everything goes out the window, first of all diets. I am a miserable sick person, and I will do whatever it takes to feel better. This means fast food. Fast food always makes me feel better. Yes, there were times I was so nauseaus that the thought of greasy food made me feel worse, but I knew I had to eat something and I knew it would taste good and I didn't have to cook it. Although I was eating half the amount as usual because of loss of appetite, I was eating carbs soaked in grease. This does not bode well for the diet.
I obviously haven't learned from past mistakes. Every time I allow myself to cheat thinking it won't make a difference, not only DOES it make a difference, but it gets me out of the zone, and I have to start back over at square one to get in the weight-loss mind frame.
Basically what I'm saying is, even after I got better, I was still on the fast food joy ride. Which turned into the ice cream movie snack joy ride, which turned into me gaining FIVE POUNDS this week. FIVE!!! By tomorrow I am sure it will be six, and I am so excited to report to everyone that I officially gained back all that I've lost during this competition in ONE WEEK.
Everything down the drain. So, I wanted to just get it over with and announce to everyone that tomorrow the results will have a fatty +5 or 6 next to my name. There, I said it. Whew.
So, tomorrow starts the second attempt at losing weight in this competition, and at least now I have learned my lesson, and even if I am dying from leprosy I will not stray from the healthy path. Dieting sucks. I just really like food.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Spring Is In The Air!

Spring is my all-time favorite time of the year.
I know it's still February, but it's the time when we get our first wave of spring-like weather. Then it will get cold and crappy again for a while, and then it will turn into Spring for real!
Why do I love Spring?
1. BecauSe it is like the rainbow after the rain storm. After a cold, dreary, depressing winter, it is sunny and warm and happy.
2. Because everything is in bloom and the dogwood trees exPlode pink and everything is colorful and beautiful.
3. Because everyone emeRges from indoors and ventures outside again and starts working in the yard and I love working outdoors.
4. Because my bIrthday!
5. Because everything just seems so fresh and New and smells so good.
6. Because there is just a feelinG in the air that makes me so excited!
Happy Almost Spring!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Soy Un Perdidor

Okay, so I was happy with my bouqet of red roses and carnations.
And then this evening we exchanged gifts.
This was my gift from Bill:
Yup. That is what my husband got me for Valentine's Day. The most romantic weekend getaway at the most cozy, luxurious suites nestled in the snowy mountains of Leavenworth, Washington. He even has baby-sitting lined up, my dream come true. I have never in my life had such an awesome gift or surprise. He totally outdid himself this year.
And that's not it. He wrote a two page poem of our entire relationship, from LDS chat to now. A poem. In red script font. It was amazing.
And what did I get my husband for Valentine's Day?
Tiffany, I believe I just made Spencer look like cupid himself.
And that's not the worst of it. Last night I finally got brave and brought up the subject of how we (and by we I mean mostly him) need to work a lot more at being spontaneously romantic, focus more on each other instead of the kids and work and stuff. He's sitting there apologizing, saying he'll work on it, the whole time already having paid for and reserved this suite and planned our romantic weekend getaway.
Scum of the earth? I believe I am.


What do I love about my husband?
This morning I woke up to this

and Macy woke up to this

For her first Valentine's Day, he wanted to be the first one to give her a rose. He has gotten her flowers on Valentine's Day ever since.
Enjoy a little of what I believe is one of the best love songs of all times on this Valentine's Day.

Death to Blogger

I give up. I am the most retarded person when it comes to blogger. I had no idea I was so dumb, until good old blogger came along. Not only can I not figure anything out on my own where other people seem to whip up their blogs highlighted with all the fancy extra features in one afternoon, I can't even figure out how to do something once somebody has walked me through it step by step. If I fail at trying to figure out how to do one more thing on here that someone has said is "way easy" to do, I'm seriously done blogging. I feel so freaking incompetent!!
Can I figure out how to link someone's name so that you can get from my blog to theirs in a single click? Nope. Can I install the music codes once someone has walked me through it? No, the music keeps stopping. Installing a stat-counter when it tells you in detail how to install it? Nope, no where to be found on my blog. I am seriously ready to scream. I think I am a fairly intelligent person but apparently I am technologically-challenged.
I think I am going to try veering the world backwards, back to when we wrote on good old fashioned paper and called each other on the phone. At least I knew how to punch seven numbers and voila! there was that person I wanted to speak to. Stupid computers. Stupid blogs. Everything's stupid. I need to go to bed.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Kill Me Now

Alright, already. I get it. I'm sick. Now can we just get on with life? Every day I wake up expecting to feel better and every day I feel worse. I definitely have the flu, and am still so grateful it's not the stomach flu. I know I commented that I wouldn't waste my time with flu shots from here on out if it didn't prevent the stomach flu, but after this weekend, I would get shot up and down my arm if it meant not getting this crap. I feel like I've been hit by a truck.
My only happy thought that's getting me through this is that it has to end eventually, right? I can't be sick forever. Each day that goes by is one day closer to being better. How's that for being glass-half-full?
On the plus side, I got a nice, much-needed break from doing music in primary today! (Thanks Kim.) There is always at least a few benefits to getting sick.
Hopefully next time you hear from me I'll be my old self, complaining about life in general instead of being sick. Oh, those were the days......

Friday, February 9, 2007

Tag Time

When Danyelle "tagged" me on her blog, I had no clue what it meant, but thought, aw, that was nice. Then I forgot about it. Well, I'm seeing on everyone else's blog that it means I'm supposed to write 6 weird facts about me. So here goes:

1. I am more scared of throwing up than I am of dying.
2. I cannot swallow pills without food and something flavored to drink.
3. I can lay down anywhere, at any time, and fall asleep.
4. I will gag and spit out anything that has nuts in it, I despise them that much. But I like peanuts.
5. I suck on gum like a kid with a pacifier. I even sleep with it.
6. I was delivered by an anesthesiologist when my mom's ob didn't make it in time. He was so proud of having delivered me that he wouldn't hand me over to my mom. So I pooped all over his arm.
Okay, so I am now tagging: Karen, Shayla, and my cuz Stephanie

Coming soon to a theater near you: "Outbreak 2: Tri-Cities"

It turns out I was right. Everyone has been commenting on how crazy it has been with the flu going around. I have never before heard of so many cases, one after another. I was wondering if it was just coincidence that I was hearing of more cases this winter, or if we had really been hit extra hard.
Last night I got my answer. Apparently the hospital has signs all over the entrances saying "THE FLU HAS HIT {our town} WITH A VENGEANCE." Then Amy told me that John saw something on the news about the western states having mass outbreaks of the flu. It's seriously like I'm living in a nightmare and I can't wake up. It finally hit our house, after months of expecting it, but so far we've been lucky in that it doesn't seem to be the stomach flu, just the other flu where you're achy, miserable, etc.
I started coughing yesterday and it got worse as the day progressed. I went to bed with a headache and just feeling yuck all over at 8:30 and proceeded to toss and turn miserably for eleven hours. This morning I'm still coughing and my throat is scratchy but thanks to some Tylenol I'm not aching any more. Anyway, I am just so happy it's this and not the other dreaded stuff.
So today we are all home, nursing ourselves and feeling miserable. All I want to do is go lay in the bath but that's just not possible right now.
So, to anyone else who is ailing right now, hope you get over it soon, and to the still-healthy, STAY INSIDE and wash your hands-a lot.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

High School Nightmare

I confess. I caved. I swore I would never watch High School Musical and I did. And now I'm paying for it, night and day.
I thought it looked like something I would like at first. Til I heard bits and pieces of the soundtrack in Amy's car and thought I was going to have to pull over so I could vomit on the side of the road. It sounded like the cheesiest, gaggiest movie ever. Every girl sounded like they were singing with clothespins pinching their noses, every boy sounded like they were auditioning for "So You Think You Can Be in a Boy Band." I couldn't wait for the H.S.M. craze to fade away, like I was certain it would.
But it didn't. And didn't. And didn't. It was everywhere! Suddenly this pre-teen made-for-tv Disney movie was a smash hit and everyone was talking about it. And if you know anything about me, I have to be a part of what everyone is talking about, especially if it's a movie.
So I borrowed it from Danyelle. Biggest mistake of my life. Wait, check that. Biggest mistake was letting Macy watch it with me.
I was really excited when I realized Macy could watch it with me. (I knew everyone else had let their kids watch it) I knew it was something she'd really like. Well, I was right. She really liked it. No wait, she loved it. Now we watch it at least twice a day.
Did I hate it? No. I would categorize it as somewhere between a guilty pleasure and one of those things that bugs you so bad you have to watch it. I was surprised that I didn't hate it. But you have to admit, it's a little addicting. The characters are impossibly cute, and the singing, although nauseating, somehow draws you into their Rated G world. But here is where my problem lies: those *!@#*& catchy songs. I can't get them out of my head! Never before have I had songs stick with me like these. Night and day, it's out of control.
Making dinner, I'll suddenly realize I've been singing over and over, "We're soaring! We're flying!"
Cleaning the house, it's "getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game"
But by far the worst is waking up in the middle of the night to, "This feeling's like no other, I want you to know!"
I feel like a crazy person, I can't get make it go away! Does anyone know of a support group I can join for people like me? I think I'll go online to look. In the meantime, I just wanna say, "We're all in this together!'

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Three Cheers For the Super Bowl

Dear Super Bowl,
I just wanted to write and thank you so much for finally being here. You see, a few months ago, my husband and I started having problems: He wanted to watch football every Sunday all morning and I had a problem with it. At first I didn't care. I've never been the kind of wife that's like " NO WATCHING SPORTS ON SUNDAY." How could I be that hypocritical, knowing that next month I will be sitting on my couch one Sunday evening, holding my fake Oscar and rooting for Will to win best actor? But I had no idea that the football season lasted so long. And it was every Sunday. Every Sunday during the time we needed to be getting ready for church.

I have my wonderful brother-in-law to thank for this. See, Bill never watched football on tv before Jeff called and invited him to play Fantasy Football. Oh, the very words make me shudder. Suddenly Bill was standing right smack in the middle of his fantasy, and he had actually become that cliche macho man sitting on his couch yelling at the tv screen, as if anyone playing could hear him or care.
And did it stop when Fantasy Football ended a month or so ago? As if my luck would be that good! No, no, Bill was hooked. He had invested so much time and interest into this season that he just had to see who made it all the way.
So there he was, week after week, sitting on our couch Sunday morning into Sunday afternoon, watching that cursed game of football. Oh, he would help out. He'd get the kids in the bath while I got ready and did last minute music stuff.
"Daddy, I'm ready to get out." "Just a second, as soon as this play's over." Ten minutes later: "Daddy, I really wanna get out now." "Yeah, okay, I'm coming." Ten minutes later:
"Daddy, the water's getting really cold" "Okay, okay, I'm coming!" Ten minutes later:
"Daddy, I think I just saw the Titanic float by and hit an ice berg" Okay, the last part may have been fabricated, but the time frames were sadly accurate.
Soon I was counting down the Sundays til the Super Bowl like a kid before Christmas. And lo and behold, today, I got to cut the last link from my paper chain! Yipee!!! For once I am completely okay with having the tv be monopolized for five hours by guys in little pants and big shirts crashing into each other, because I know it is the last time I will have to do it! At least for another nine months or so.
So thank you, Super Bowl, for finally arriving and putting an end to my single-parent Sundays.
And, FYI, for some of us non-football fans, the only part of the Super Bowl worth watching besides the commercials was the half-time show. Ever since Janet had her "wardrobe malfunction", your halftime show has been as exciting as the game itself. Not. I would take a little sunburst nipple ring over Paul McCartney and Prince any day of the week. Yawn.
Yours Truly,

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Paying Homage to My Favorite Spaz

I always want to update my blog but I never have anything to say. I love how Danyelle does a little something every day, not anything big, but totally enjoyable to read, with an accompanying picture. So I'm going to copy her, since I think we have all agreed that in the blogger world, at least, it's complimentary and acceptable to copy one another.
So....since none of you know the real Bill, the one that isn't hidden behind shyness and fear of attention, I thought I would give you a little taste of the wonder that is Bill. It's seriously a shame that me, Macy, and Payson are the only ones that get to enjoy his twisted sense of humor.

Here my husband decided to show the kids what
would happen if you fell asleep while eating.

During a bonfire dinner of hotdogs and marshmallows,
Bill suddenly realized there was a camera present and saw an opportunity.

Macy was playing photographer and Bill
was doing his best model pose.

This isn't one of his best, apparently
he was having an "off" day.

My brother Ryan used to do this to freak me out, and I hated it. As luck would have it, I married a man with the same ability and affinity for doing it. It doesn't even phase my kids anymore.

So that's my crazy husband. See how much fun we have at home? Now the next time you see the shy guy at get-togethers sitting there all alone not talking, just picture him with Thousand Island all over his face.