Saturday, September 29, 2007

And The Grand Total Is....

DRUMROLL............................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
........................................$585.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can hardly believe it!!! I was hoping for maybe $300 at best. Woohoo! We're going to Disneyland! (Not really, it's from those commercials.)

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Come Buy My Crap


We're having a yard sale on Saturday, our first ever that we've done alone. Of course, I had to refer back to Nan's Yard Sale Blog for her list of tips and yard sale advice. I also had to use her picture, because it's just so dang perfect! You can't drive around my neighborhood without knocking over at least five cardboard boxes that say "yard sale" on them. So if you've been looking for an ancient pink homemade ice cream-maker or you've been dying to have your very own Travel Scrabble, our house is the place to be Saturday morning. The stuffed plush gorilla is calling your name, you know it is.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It's Official

I'm boring myself with nothing but updates lately on my blog, but it seems to be the only noteworthy things going on in my life right now. And this is a pretty fantastic update:

I OFFICIALLY DO NOT HAVE CELIAC DISEASE!!!
I cannot tell you how ecstatic I am about this. The funny part is, for the first time in two months I can eat bread again, and I'm still not. I thought I'd go hog wild and eat every grain in sight, but I started doing the Core Diet and there's virtually no bread on it. I did celebrate with a couple things, but one great thing that came out of this whole Celiac thing is that I learned I'm totally fine not eating bread. Just knowing that if I want something I can have it and it won't make me sick is enough. I've never dealt well with being told I "can't" do something.
So that's my latest update. I wish I could say it will be my last, but it won't. My symptoms are back and between the gastroenterologist (for the nausea and stomach pains) and my optomitrist (for the dizziness and headaches) we're still trying to figure this out. I feel weird saying "keep me in your prayers" but, seriously, could ya? I really don't want to feel like crap anymore. It's been almost five months and I just want to feel normal and good again.

Friday, September 21, 2007

FINALLY

I did it!! I have lost ten pounds. I have been waiting to lose that last dang tenth pound for three days, sure it was going to happen each day, and finally, today, I did! I am ecstatic. And for the first time in my life I'm doing it the right way, by completely changing the way I eat, what I eat. By eating healthy. No more "dieting" by not eating all day and then having ten cookies. Sure I lose weight that way...for a day. Then I gain two back the next.
I'm doing Weight Watchers Online, but here's the key: Weight Watchers never worked for me before because you are allowed any food you want as long as you stick to your points. So I'd use my points up on cookies, corn dogs, etc. Nothing changed except that I was starving. Last week I was checking out their Weight Watchers online site, desperate, and stumbled across my dream diet: The Core Plan. It is a huge list of healthy foods that you can eat as much as you want of because of their low calorie count, and there is no points tracking at all. This is exactly what I wanted! Someone to tell me exactly what is considered "healthy" and not to have to calculate each meal.
I've been doing it for four days and have only lost one pound, (the other nine I had already lost on my own before I started) but technically I'm not supposed to weigh myself til Monday, so I cheated. I know it's slow going, 2-3 lbs. a week, but I don't care, that's a lot faster than I've been going! And for the first time, it's just as important to me to be eating healthy for health reasons, with all the crap I've been feeling, than losing the weight. And this way I'll keep it off.
Anyway, I am beyond excited. Here's to the next ten!!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Don't Hate Me

Sorry, not yet. I'm not trying to be mean, I promise. I really thought I'd be able to post it today, but I can't. Crossing my fingers for tomorrow. It's getting really frustrating, actually, but I guess it'll make it that much sweeter when I can finally do it. Check in tomorrow!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Bare With Me

Sorry for those of you who have been checking my blog daily and finding the same thing. I have purposely been waiting to update my blog til I can write what I am dying to blog about and I am SO CLOSE to being able to. I thought for sure today, but maybe tomorrow. Okay, don't get too excited. It's very exciting for me, but now it'll probably be a huge let down to you all now that I've built it up. Anyway, keep checking in to hear my very exciting news. (No, I'm not pregnant, no we're not moving.)

P.S. Haven't heard on my results yet, I'm calling Friday.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

I Suffer From Short-Term Memory Loss...Atleast, I Think I Do

The endoscopy went great, better than I could have hoped. Bill went with me and I was so happy to have him there as I waited. It was just in my doctor's office which was less intimidating, and it was fast. Once I was prepped they took me into the procedure room. I didn't realize I was going to be "out." They had told me I'd be awake and aware but really sleepy and happy. I had been nervous about that, being aware of everything. I was thrilled when instead they said I'd be asleep, but not the really comatose sleep like they do for actual surgery. The minute they stopped giving it to me I'd wake up. My kind of drug.

They had me roll on my side and gave me a plastic thing for me to bite that would keep my mouth open, and the doctor said, "Okay, give her the Happy Juice." I was fully prepared for it to be like my last experience with being put out: first I'd feel very happy and dopey and relaxed, then I'd fall asleep. (I was actually looking forward to experiencing that euphoric feeling again. It's like being high, but legally, and I can still hold a temple recommend.) But I remember hearing the lady say, "This might burn a little going in" and I thought she meant where my IV was, but then my head felt like a thousand needles was poking it and the next thing I knew, a nurse was shaking me and I was back in the prep room, and Bill was there. I couldn't believe it. They weren't kidding when they said I wouldn't remember a thing. I was amazed at how fast I woke up and how coherent and conscious I was. I immediately started talking to Bill, telling him all of this.

"Yeah, and I didn't know they were going to put me to sleep, and seriously, the last thing I remember was my head tingling, and then I was in here..."

I was thinking how disappointed Bill was going to be that I didn't say anything embarrassing coming out of the anesthesia. He was ready for some laughs, but I was just so clear-minded and normal.

"The doctor went over my labs before he started and told me it was still a little abnormal but they'd learn more once they saw inside my stomach..."

I was still marvelling at my coherency and memory when Bill smiled.

"What?" I said.

"That's the third time you've told me about your labs," he said, laughing.

I couldn't believe it! My short-term memory was ka-put. I seriously thought I was totally aware of everything but wasn't. That was almost freakier.

So then I say, "So what did they find, can I eat wheat again?"

Bill said, "Are you joking?"

I looked at him, confused. "What?" I said.

"The doctor just left here, he went over all of it with you. You asked him if you could eat wheat, and when they'd get the results back from the biopsy. You had a whole conversation with him."

I did not remember any of this!! And yet I completely remember the nurse waking me up, and all of this happened after that. It was so weird, and so funny. Bill was thrilled he got something after all.

So he starts to fill me in on what I had already been told: THEY SAW NO SIGN OF CELIAC!!! Nothing whatsoever. They are like, 99% sure I don't have it, but I have to wait for the biopsy results to know for sure and start eating gluten again. It did however, show that I do have acid reflux, which I was pretty sure I had anyway, and I can TOTALLY handle and which would explain what I've been feeling. (I had really started to question the whole celiac thing after that few weeks where I started to feel like crap again and was still not eating gluten.) I felt like they had just given me the Happy Juice. I was so elated. Not only did I most likely NOT have Celiac, but they still may have found what is wrong with me, something minor, and the whole endoscopy was over and done with and went great! It seemed too good to be true.

Then I got to go home and sleep all day in an empty house while my mom had my kids and Bill helped Ryan on their house.

Anyway, I am so glad it's over and so glad to have answers and so glad it went like a dream. Gluten here I come!!!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Kids

Payson started pre-school yesterday. He was so excited he could hardly stand it. He had so much fun and learned that "fish have scales." I didn't know what to do with myself with no kids for two and a half hours! I could go grocery shopping, or go to Michael's or Craft Warehouse, or the mall, or Target or anything I wanted to do!!! The possibilities were endless! So.....I took a nap.


Macy's movie ended halfway through our trip home from Yakima on Saturday (it was just she and me) and she was bored. I handed her my camera to take "a" picture. I just discovered her works of art when I uploaded my latest pictures. I got quite the laugh. I love to see what a kid finds "photo worthy."

Friday, September 7, 2007

Ten Years and A Few Pounds Later

This weekend is my 10 year high school reunion. Here. Where I graduated. I don't need a plane ticket to go, I don't need to pay $60 bucks to get in, I don't even have to drive more than fifteen minutes to get to any of the events. Less than five for one of them, actually. I have been thinking about these people I graduated with for ten years, wondering what became of them, what they're doing with their lives, what they look like now. I have been dying for this reunion to come so all my curiosity can finally be put to rest.

However, I can't bring myself to go. Why's that, you ask? One pure and simple fact. Below is a picture of me on my way to Senior Prom. This is what I looked like the last time these people saw me:





Okay, so now you see. You get it, right?
I refuse to go and be that girl....the one who shows up to her 10 year reunion all fat.
The one who "let herself go." I've come to terms with the fact that my body, without my consent, decided it loved the way it looked while being pregnant and therefore chose said state as it's permanent appearance. But when I think about those girls in high school who hated me, smirking because "she got hers" or my ex-boyfriend (who WILL be there) sighing relief that he "got out of that one" my pride gets the best of me.
Bill has given me permission to go buy a new outfit that I felt flattered me the most and therefore would make me feel comfortable whilst reuniting, but....what if someone can see right through me? The fat girl masquerading as the
"I still have a rockin' body" girl? And, please, it's clothes, not cosmetic surgery. How much can I really fool them?
And one more question....AM I REALLY THIS SHALLOW?! This is what anything high school-related does to me. Takes me back to the shallow, insecure girl who based her self-worth on her looks. And sure, I'm a great person on the inside-- nice, friendly, funny... but no one will be looking at me saying, "Oh, she was really nice and funny. I wonder if she still is?" Nope, inside, they're gonna be laughing their size 4's off.
Oh, the dilemma.....