Friday, December 10, 2010

Helping Jenny

my aunt jenny, taken by her daughter melissa

My Aunt Jenny is one of my very favorite people in the world. Every memory I have of her, which go back as far as I can remember, she is smiling. She is just one of those people who is naturally happy all the time. And she has breast cancer. I was a senior in high school when she was diagnosed for the first time at the age of 37. After intense chemotherapy and radiation treatments, she entered remission for 8 years. But the cancer returned, and it has since spread to her bones, brain, and lungs. Needless to say the cost of treatment has been astronomical, and Jenny's sweet daughter, my cousin Melissa, has put together an online auction to raise money to help her parents out at a time when much help is needed. The auction will go from Saturday, December 11 through midnight (mst) on Monday, December 13th. Please consider bidding on an item, they have some really great stuff. It can all be viewed here.

Instructions on how to bid are there as well. I have donated a custom-made cake to a local bidder. So I need you guys, my local friends and family (and blog stalkers) to bid on it, cause I obviously can't ship a cake somewhere! Bid on my cake here. And I'll tell you this--this cake can be as large as you want it, as decked out as you want get the idea. It will be worth your money, I promise you that! So please, go bid. Not just on my cake but anything else you'd like. It could not be for a better cause. So bid! Bid! Bid!

Thursday, December 2, 2010


Sorry for my failure to follow through with what I said...I realize I was supposed to post the winner yesterday, but I was busy sewing, sewing, sewing and completely forgot. A big thanks to my sister for calling me today and pointing out that I had yet to announce the winner. D'oh!

So without further ado, the winner of the awesome game Trek to Zion, created by my dear cousin Jen, is...

who wanted to win it for her daughter.

Congratulations Mary! (And NaDell) Please email me your shipping address at

Thanks everyone for playing! And if you didn't win, remember you can still purchase the game at Far West Books or any of the links on my earlier posts. It will be well worth your money, I'm sure! And thanks to Jen for sponsoring this giveaway! You rock, as always.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Cyber Monday Giveaway!

So my aforementioned fabulous cousin Jen has agreed to do a Cyber Monday Giveaway of her new game, Trek to Zion.It's an LDS version of the popular game Ticket to Ride, that can be purchased here, or here (enter the code "free1130" to get free shipping from this store, today only) or if you're local, head on over to Far West Books. It would be a great Christmas present!

So all you need to do in order to enter the giveaway and win this awesome game is leave a comment on my blog telling me what your favorite Christmas song is cause I think that'd be fun. Then, to be able to enter again, you can link to this post on your blog or facebook (both will earn you two more entries in the giveaway) and come back and tell me you did. The winner will be announced Wednesday.

Spread the word, and good luck!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Trek to Zion

My cousin Jen is amazing. I've always known it, but now everyone else can see how amazing she is too. A little while ago Jen had a genius idea to turn a popular, fun game that she loves to play with her family (called Ticket to Ride, you may have played it) into a clever LDS (Mormon) version, called Trek to Zion. I've never played either, but I hear that if you love Ticket to Ride, you will love Trek to Zion.

So here is her creation--yes, she made this:

Doesn't it look super fun? I can't wait to play it! It is yours to purchase here, here, or if you're local, head on over to Far West Books. Perfect for a Christmas gift, too!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Still Here

So I have a goal to blog more. I miss it. It used to be such a big part of my life and I'm sad that I've let it slip by the wayside, along with many other things that used to be important to me. During this last big "dip" I've allowed myself to slip further and further into my comfort zone, letting things go, shutting myself up into my turtle shell and ignoring things that involve human interaction and expressing myself. Well, I'm working on ditching the shell and putting myself out there more like I used to. I'm working on healing, and getting back to the Alicia I used to be. My blog is an important step, to talk about the things that are still here, still important to me, defining my life at this point in time.

1.5 months. That's it. That's all I have left to finish my novel. Can you believe it? I can't. But I'm so excited. To think that in a month and a half I could be signing a contract, handing over my beloved manuscript to be published to the world, for you and everyone else to read. Am I nervous? A little, but nowhere near as much as I am excited. Although I haven't made as much progress over the last few months as I would have liked, I'm raring to finish this bad boy. I'm at a crucial part in the story right now, maybe the part I'm most excited about writing--the falling in love part, which leads to the twist part, the conflict part, and the dramatic ending part. Eek! I can hardly contain myself. I really hope you all love reading it as much as I love writing it. This story is so much a part of me.

Progress on my headaches is not so much progressing. I guess sometimes in order to find the solution you have to eliminate the non-solutions and things might get worse before they get better. The prescription the neuro put me on was a great diet pill, but a joke of a pain pill. Instead of preventing migraines as it was supposed to do, it created pressure in my forehead so intense it actually brought migraines on. Needless to say I stopped taking it. I am still plugging away at physical therapy, which rocks my world--while I'm there. 15 minute head/neck massages twice a week? Yes please! But I leave every single time with a headache, which turns into an excruciating migraine by that night. Pretty much the only time I get those really bad ones now are the days I go to P.T. Hmmm. Something wrong with this picture? Supposedly I should get used to it in time, but how many more times can I willingly go in there, knowing I'm in for a crapload of pain that night? I have to say, not many. Sigh.

Other than that not much to report. I promise to be back soon, blogging again. I can't promise I'll have anything interesting to say, but maybe you'll wanna read it anyway.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


Hello. Long time. It's taken everything in me to drag myself to the computer to write this post but I'm trying to make myself do things I don't necessarily feel like doing so here I go.

I know that in life there are times when it seems you're on top of the world and others where you wish so much you didn't have to get out of bed. Ever. I know that it's supposed to be that way. I know this. Believe me, I've experienced my share of dips in the roller coaster. I'm always prepared for the next dip, always waiting for the bubble to burst. But I'm also always waiting to swing up out of that dip onto the next peak, to be on top of the world again, or even to just plateau to a nice, level happy medium. But what happens when the dip just keeps going? And going? And going........

I am trying. Every day I try. Every day I get out of bed thinking "today's the day. Today will be different. Today I will have energy. Today I will be motivated. Today I will feel useful, and happy, and worthwhile." I even go for a walk first thing in the morning, something I have never done before, not for this long anyway. I've been eating healthy, even losing weight. I've been cleaning my house, and keeping it cleaner than I ever have before. I've been doing hobbies, writing and decorating cakes like nobody's business. I've been keeping contact with the outside world via Facebook and friends. I've prayed. I've read my scriptures. I've started seeing my therapist again.

But every day all I want to do is crawl back in bed and sleep. And sleep some more. And I do. Every day.

It's just one of those dips. We all have them. And this is a big one for me.

I'm not posting this for your pity. Honestly, that's the last thing I want. Please don't ask me how I'm doing when you see me. It will only make me uncomfortable. I'm blogging about it so that I don't have to talk about it in person. This is my therapy, because I can only go to my therapist so often and I'm so much better with words when I don't have to say them. I know I'll swing up and out of this some day. I always do. Just send good thoughts my way. And maybe a prayer or two.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Wazzz Up...with me

I have nothing but time now all day long to sit and blog and yet here I am, laying in bed, blogging, at 1:30 am. I don't have much to say but it's been way too long since I blogged and I just thought I'd give you a quick rundown of my life at the present. Before I come back later with actual blog posts about actual exciting events and vacations and happenings this summer with actual--wait for it--pictures. I know, right?!

But not this post. No. This post will be lame. Lots of words, no pictures. Yeah. Blah. But if you have nothing better to be doing with your time right now, keep reading, because you and I both know that there have been no status update changes made since you were on Facebook five minutes ago.

> I just finished Mockingjay. I don't want to ruin anything for those who haven't read it yet, so if you wanna know my opinions about it, and believe me--I got lots--email me and we'll talk. Now I am done laying around reading all day as...

> I have entered Phase 2 of being a stay-at-home-mom: both kids at school all day, every day. For those of you who have heard me talk about it (sing giddily about it?) and are ready to punch me in the face, please believe me that I'm not trying to rub it in. I've just, well, anticipated this day for 9 years and I'm not gonna feel bad about it. I worked hard, paid my dues, sacrificed naps and showers and any sense of free time and it. was. hard. The hardest thing I've ever done. (yes, I'm aware it will get harder at some point.) But for right now can I just enjoy it? Enjoy this break that's been given me? I've earned it, and doggonnit I'm gonna enjoy it and not feel guilty about it! I am taking full advantage of this opportunity by...

> Walking each morning. I haven't exercised regularly in years and it feels fantastic! I walk with a good friend of mine and we talk and talk and I barely notice my blistering toes or bursting lungs as we go up the hill...I love every second of it. Finally, I am getting my body healthy, as per the advice of...

> My new neurologist. Wow. Polar opposite experience from the last one. I left his office hopeful, encouraged, and highly optimistic. He told me basically what I had already guessed about my body, specifically my head/migraines. To hear a doctor confirm what I already believed to be true was, well, a little euphoric. He put me on a preventative drug to stop the headaches before they start and gave me an abortive drug to stop a migraine in its tracks if I need to. But more importantly, he said I need to get healthy, lose the weight, and become physically active. AND he confirmed that I absolutely need to go to physical therapy because my neck is MESSED UP and is probably 80% of the cause of my headaches. Stupid stress. So, with my headaches under control, I should finally be able to...

> Write my book. Aaaggghhh!!! What began as one of the most exciting, wonderful moments of my life has since turned into stress, panic, doubt, and self-doubt. It started with an offer from my amazing cousin whom I absolutely adore who works at a publishing company. Together with her boss, they offered me a contract with them if I could have my finished manuscript to them by the end of the year, along with a little royalties advance. (!!!) I actually yelped when I read the offer. It is my lifelong dream come true. I'm not kidding. And it would work so perfectly! With both kids at school all day I had my days available to do nothing but write, write, write. But then reality hit. I began to wonder if I actually could finish my book in four months. Wonder turned to doubt, doubt turned to disbelief, disbelief turned to sheer panic. And there's only one way I cope with panic, and that is shut-down mode. Aaarrrggghhh!!!!! So frustrated. But I WILL not let this slip away from me. I'd be insane if I did and I'd hate myself forever. I WILL do this. I have to. (positive, motivational thoughts my way please!) So I've been avoiding my book and getting out my creative juices elsewhere...

> Cake Decorating classes! As of Thursday I am a Wilton Cake Decorating Courses graduate! I am all done, and it's completely bittersweet. On the one hand, I have learned all that they have to teach me until I can take some advanced classes. On the other hand, I will miss the classes! And I really thought I'd feel more qualified to start charging people way. So not there yet. So if you need a cake for any reason, please let me know. I really need the practice but I just can't charge anyone yet. If you want a good cake for free and are understanding about the fact that it's a learning cake for me and won't be perfect, I'm your girl! Seriously! I need the practice!

I think that's about it for now. Again, it's 2:00 in the morning. I don't why I do this. Something's wrong with me, seriously. It'll be fun to see in the morning if this all made as much sense as it does in my brain right now. Soon I will do my summer recap post with pictures, and put pics of my cakes on here too.

And now I'm out.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


No one's allowed inside my fort
I've built it strong and tall and true
There is no door of any sort
To let mere passersby come through

No drawbridge which to lower down
No rope or ladder which to drop
Cause in my fort I wear the crown
And it's my throne I sit atop.

And here within these walls I've built
I'm safe from all that hurts and scares
No wounds inflicted, no blood spilt
No unkind words that I must bear

And even though it's lonely here
Inside my fort, atop my throne
At least I'm safe, that much is clear:
You can't get hurt when you're alone.

Friday, July 2, 2010



Grrr...these movies are so hard for me to review so I'm just gonna warn you now that you may hate everything I say.

I liked Eclipse more than I liked Twilight and less than I liked New Moon. I know, I know, I'm sure you thought Eclipse was the best one yet...everyone seems to think so. But not me. Why? I'm not entirely sure but I'll do my best to explain.

The main reason is the "feel" of the movie, which can be attributed primarily to the acting. I'm not saying it's bad acting. It's just...weird, and something about it completely rubs me the wrong way. A lot. Right from the very first scene with Bella and Edward sitting in the meadow talking and kissing. Even when they weren't kissing their mouths were a fraction of an inch apart and they just kept moving around and it was just. so. awkward. They seem soooo uncomfortable around each other, so unnatural. Yes, I understand that Edward is struggling to not eat her, but their relationship in the book is comfortable, natural, easy, at least by Eclipse. Not please-make-it-stop-before-I-jab-my-own-eyes-out. It seriously makes me think of my first boyfriend in middle school, when I would meet him in the hallway, trying desperately to think of anything to say to him while shuffling my feet and praying he wouldn't try to kiss me. You know it's really bad when my favorite parts of the movie were the comic relief moments (which, in all other movies, make me cringe).

The rest of the Cullens, while not quite as bad, are not far behind. We see a lot more of some of them, which means a lot more Jasper and his hair. Oh, the hair. Eclipse brings us a less-blonde Jasper with a lady wig. Because, you know, we weren't laughing at him enough before. The good news is that it seems like the more lines he had, the more normal he actually acted. So, that's a plus.

All of this leads me to why I have almost completely converted to Team Jacob. I love Taycob. (That's Jacob as played by Taylor Lautner) He is, in my humble opinion, the only easy thing in the movie to watch. And I don't just mean easy on the eyes, which, let's admit, he totally is. I mean he moves easily, he talks normally, he acts comfortable. He truly is Jacob--sunshine, healthy, easy. And, he now holds the title of delivering the best line in a movie, ever (to Edward): "Face it, I'm hotter than you." (I can't help but wonder if that wasn't more of a joke about the reaction to a buff Taylor Lautner in New Moon compared to pasty, scrawny Rob.)

Of course I wouldn't be a true Twi-hard if I didn't hate the changes that they made. I don't mind little changes that were necessary for the big screen. But I hate changes that don't seem to have any purpose behind them, and even more than that I hate changes that are so obviously for time's sake or transitioning from one thing to the next. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I understand what I mean completely. :) There were no less than three incredibly obvious ones in Eclipse, which knocked it down a few notches for me. And what the heck was the big idea with completely eliminating the epilogue?! I sat waiting for Jacob to get his wedding invitation in the mail all the way through the credits. Yup. The entire theater had emptied but I stayed, because I refused to accept that they just didn't put that in the movie. Losers.

But, being that same loyal Twi-hard, I had to appreciate the things they kept the same, especially little details that they totally didn't have to keep in there. The only one that comes to mind right now is (blushing) when Edward and Bella are going at it on the bed, just before Edward dutifully stops Bella from seducing him, he grabs her knee and hikes it up around his waist. Loved it. Also, they nailed the tent scene, which is really all I cared about anyway.

There are probably 55,000 other things I could (and would) say about the movie but I've probably filled you all with more negativity than you wanted to hear about it already so I will stop. Ironically enough, I can't wait to go see it again, if only to see the parts I loved again, but also because I'm pretty sure I'll like it better the second time around.

*Update* As predicted, it was MUCH better the second time. Much. Not that anything changed, just that I was prepared for the crappy parts and excited for the good parts.

Movie Queen Rating: Somewhere between PG (pretty good) and PG-13 (eh)

Movie Queen Rating The Second Time Around: PG (pretty good)

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Bad headache (continued) today. Come back tomorrow for my review of Eclipse. Sorry! :(

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Dear Stephenie Meyer...


It pains me to have to write you this letter, because everyone knows I am an adoring fan and you have been a huge inspiration to me in my writing career. But, as an adoring fan and fellow author, I feel I should let you know how I feel about a certain career move you've made recently, i.e. the novella you felt compelled to write and distribute to the masses called The Short Life of Bree Tanner. First of all, the fact that you call it a novella makes me laugh. I can't hear that word without picturing a dime store Spanish paperback romance novel with a Hispanic Fabio on the cover holding a scantily-clad Penelope Cruz look-alike in his arms.

Secondly, the title of your novella says it all--never was there a shorter life of a character in a novel than Bree Tanner. So short, in fact, that the minor detail of her last name was too insignificant to include. Did you forget? She was in exactly one chapter of Eclipse, not even the whole chapter. And yet you felt she needed an entire book dedicated to her story.

I'm just trying to understand it, Stephenie. Was it that you woke up one morning and decided you hadn't quite banked on the Twilight franchise enough? Or did you realize that the population of the planet had maxed out their obsession with the Cullen family, the hunky werewolf and the whining klutz known as Bella and so you needed to give them another Twilight character to focus their infatuation on? Okaaaay, I can maybe get on board with that, but...why Bree, the newborn vampire who shows up at the very end of Eclipse just in time to get her head ripped off? Why not Mike Newton's mom, or better yet, the bagger at the grocery store? Either character would be just as significant and worthy of their own story as Bree Tanner. I mean, really? Are we supposed to care about how she got changed into a vampire? I hate to ruin it for everyone, but here's a giant spoiler: she gets bit. When, where and under what circumstances? I. Don't. Care. How much don't I care? Well, you offered the novella online for free, and I'm still not gonna read it. Not out of spite, or pride, or any kind of self-respect, but because I am more interested in reading about mold spores or how to fold cardboard boxes than I am about Bree Tanner.

I also can't hep but notice your timing...releasing the book one month before Eclipse comes out in theaters. Which makes me think that your entire reason for writing/publishing/releasing The Short Life of Bree Tanner can be summed up in two words: cha and ching.

In the words of Gallaxhar: lame.


Monday, June 21, 2010

Dear Facebook Users...

Hi, blog. I haven't forgotten about you, I promise. Things have been pretty busy and, well, you're kind of a time suck. No offense. But I vow to do better, because I miss you and I want us to be friends again. So I had an idea to kick off our re-acquaintance. I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately, you see, stuff that is in no way important but in every way worth mentioning, in my opinion. In fact, that's exactly what it is--my opinion, on current hot topics. I've got a lot of them, and I realize this is the best place to get them out. Now, just to warn you, a lot of my opinions are negative and might ruffle some feathers, but, between you and me blog, I don't care. You are, after all, MY BLOG, and are therefore my platform for saying whatever I want. Which is why I love you.
So be prepared this week to be filled with rantings and ravings about whatever is getting me all hot and bothered these days.

To kick it off, here's one I've been working up for a while now. I present to you................................


Dear Facebook Users:

Recently I've joined your cult, and while 90% of the time it brings me immense satisfaction, there are a few things I could definitely live without, things I think you need to know, that maybe you aren't aware of. Such as...

* An arrow pointing to the left and a three do not make a sideways heart. They make an arrow pointing to the left next to a three. And, even if it made a perfect sideways heart, or even a perfect heart going the correct way, every post does not need to include a heart, much less ten.

* I don't like having to guess what your cryptic status updates mean. If I have to comment to ask what it is you're talking about, you can bet I'm already moving on. Things such as "sigh" and "I give up" are not status updates. If I wanted a mystery, I'd go watch Sherlock Holmes again.

* Nobody wants to be told what to post on Facebook, or even asked to re-post something. The worst thing to ever be transferred to the online world is the chain letter, and you've managed to keep it alive and well with your requests to "make this your status update." The beauty of Facebook is to see everyone's original thought for the day (hour?), not one person's cheesy thought posted 15 times by 15 different people.

* I LOVE a good quote, especially a hilarious one. And no one appreciates a good random, meaningless musing now and then more than me. But if that is ALL you have to post, for say...a week? Maybe it's time to give the quote site a rest.

* Which brings me to my next one: You don't have to have a super interesting life to say something even mildly interesting. If all you have to say right then is "Ummmm....." or "Don't really have anything to say..." maybe don't post anything. It's OK. Facebook will still be there when you come back with something worth saying. And if you go to post and all you can think of is a variation of the same thing you have been posting day in and day out (such as, I don't know, how cute your kids are) here are some other suggestions: Likes, dislikes. I find them fascinating. Any opinions on ANYTHING current. Opens up a world of possibilities. Something funny your kids said/did (but this is important--it can't just be something you found funny, but something you're fairly certain other people will find funny too. There's a BIG difference.) There's just a few ideas.

* Do NOT (I repeat, NOT) use someone's wall as your personal soap box, or go off on whatever they posted in their comments. It's okay to disagree. It's not okay to make the person feel like an idiot. You can disagree and still be friends.

* And lastly, but certainly not least, I don't care about the barn you are building in FarmVille, or the magic eggs you found, or that your virtual puppy is starving. In fact, I'm gonna be the one to say it--I despise FarmVille and everything about it. I dream of a Facebook with no updates of pointless, time-wasting games. Of course, it's your prerogative to play them, but do we all have to know about every move you make in your make-believe world? I've never set foot in FarmVille, or PetWorld, or Mafia or any of the super awesome Facebook worlds, but I've been told you can actually select (or more importantly NOT SELECT) to show us all your many, many updates. Be a pal. Don't select. We will all love you for it.

So, Facebook User, those are just some things to consider. MY Facebook experience, if not everyone else's, would be oh so much better if all the offenders of aforementioned transgressions considered not, um, transgressing. Just something to think about.


P.S. I invite my blog readers to agree or disagree with any points on my list, and especially add any I might have forgotten!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Thanks A Heap

Thanks to everyone who voted for Bill! He didn't win :( but we still appreciate all those who tried to help him win. I guess now I have to convince him that if he was willing to let someone else make him over, he has no reason not to let me make him over, am I right?!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Last Chance To Help A Fella Out!

There's only a few hours left to vote for my sweetiepie Bill for the Father's Day Makeover! We really need your help, he needs more votes!! If you haven't voted yet, PLEASE go here and vote for him! We would truly appreciate it. Voting is on the right sidebar and only goes till midnight. Thanks for your help!!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Emerald City

Our trip to Seattle last weekend was absolutely perfect. We got there Friday afternoon and went to our hotel, which was fabulous. We were on the 29th of 30 floors. Our ears popped every time we went up or down the elevator. This was the view out our window:

The first thing we discovered was a stocked mini-fridge.

That's when we knew we were at a five star hotel. We've only ever had empty fridges before. Of course I had to inspect each mini bottle of alcohol and pull out the package of Oreos. That was before we discovered the sign that said the fridges had censors and everything taken out was automatically charged to our room. We almost paid $4 for a package of cookies, but luckily the lady behind the counter at the hotel believed Bill's story about this being our first "fancy" hotel and not knowing how things worked. Not our proudest moment.

Then we headed to The Cheesecake Factory, which, we were happy to find, was on the corner of the block opposite our hotel and we could walk. We were already completely disenchanted with big city parking and the epic fees that go along with it. I introduced Bill to Avocado Eggrolls (which I ate, onions and all, after being told you can't get them without them). He loved them, which is funny, since he doesn't eat avocado, tomatoes, or onions. We devoured them, and the rest of our meal. We were too stuffed for cheesecake, my one regret of the trip.

(I think I look like that Lily girl from American Idol in this picture. Either that or the monk in the Pit of Despair from Princess Bride.)

Saturday we woke up and headed to IKEA, our first time ever. Wow. Quite the experience. We went looking for a desk chair for Macy and walked out with *cough* a little bit more. On our way back to downtown Seattle this shot came up and I had to take it, it was so cool.

Then we headed to Pike Place Market.

LOVE it. I took a gazillion pictures and made even more notes for my book. It's really hard to describe the people and energy there. It is so unique. I kept feeling like I was bouncing back and forth between modern day, 90's Seattle grunge, and the 60's. Bill was inexplicably infatuated with all the street performers we came across and made me take a picture of each one, but every time I walked up to get one, I swear was the moment they decided to go on break. So all my pictures of street performers are just random guys sitting there. I thought I'd spare you those. But I found my newest prized possession, a handmade leather bound journal, something I have always wanted.

Then we ate dinner at The Crab Pot down on the pier. Bill had seen it featured on Man Vs. Food on the Food Network and really wanted to go there.

They bring you all this crab, clams, shrimp, oysters, fish, sausage, potatoes, corn on the cob, and such in a huge bowl and dump it out right on your table on butcher paper. No utensils, just mallets for cracking shells. It. Was. Awesome. I'm drooling just remembering it.

We also tried finding where Bill carved our names onto the pier railing ten years ago when we were engaged, but to no avail. (Hey, don't laugh, we found it four years ago when we took the kids there.) Oh, and we may or may not have gotten a parking ticket because Bill may or may not have completely ignored his wife when she said she thought we needed to pre-pay at the parking lot. She may or may not have completely gloated when they saw the yellow paper tucked under the windshield wiper.

Sunday we headed for the Space Needle with the intentions of going up in it. After paying $20 to park two blocks away, we got there and decided we didn't want to so much. So, we walked around as much as possible and tried to make the most of the $20 we were paying to park there, but a kid amusement park and a plethora of souvenir shops didn't hold our interest for long. Resigned to the fact that we just blew $20, we left. But we got some good pictures.

Then we headed back to Pike's Place to get the beloved journal I had talked myself out of getting the day before but couldn't stop thinking about. This was when it started pouring rain, and I loved it. It's not Seattle without rain, and besides, we were leaving that day anyway. One of my favorite memories is standing at the booth in Pike's Place, getting soaked, trying to pick a journal while chatting it up with the guy behind the booth about my book and Seattle. He even gave me a discount, because, you know, I'm gonna be famous one day.

While looking for parking (again) we passed Deja Vu, and since Bill loves to tell people that's where we were going in Seattle, we had to get a picture. If you're not corrupt like my husband and don't know what Deja Vu is (or The Vu, as he likes to call it), you can probably figure it out from the pictures. Yes, we happened to catch the reader board on the word "toys."

Our last stop was the huge Asian market Uwajimaya, where Bill stocked up on all his weird Asian food. (Okay, I like some of it.) We ate lunch in their food court and watched a Nazi cop kick homeless people back out into the rain. Awesome. We drove around trying to find the one that was digging through the garbage so I could give him my leftovers, but he was nowhere to be found. Where are all the homeless people when you need them?

And then we went home. It flew by, but I guess that's what happens when you're having the time of your life. It was absolutely wonderful, and I am SO glad I thought to ask for that for my birthday and SO glad I have an amazing husband who made it happen. Love you Bill!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Vote For Pedro...I mean Bill

I love my husband very much.
He is an amazing husband.
He is an amazing father.
He is an incredibly hard worker.
He is many, many things.

But there is one thing he is not.

Fashion savvy.
(This picture was not a setup.
You can find him wearing this or something exactly
like this on any given day.)
I can say this, because he is the first to admit it.
And he laughs about it.
(Which is one of my favorite qualities about him,
how easily he laughs at himself.)

So when I read about a Father's Day Makeover
over at this blog,
I knew I had to nominate him.

But now I need your help.
Or more specifically, your vote.
If you would like to reward a wonderful person
with something he truly deserves,
then please click here
and vote for Bill L.
(on the right sidebar)

You would make his Father's Day oh so special.
And in the process make me a happy gal.
'Cause, you know, I have to be seen with him.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Weekend Update

While I'm quarantined at home and trying to get my daughter rehydrated, I figured I'd spend the time catching up on things. Or, catching you up on things.

Last Saturday I graduated from Course 1 of the Wilton Cake Decorating Classes! (I got a "diploma" and everything. Yay for me!) I loved every minute of it and can't wait to move on to Course 2. Here's the three masterpieces cakes I had to make for class (I did variations on them to "make them my own"):

The Rainbow Cake

The Clown Cake

The Rose Bouquet Cake

Everything except the clowns' heads are made out of frosting. Pretty snazzy, no? Lots of fun.

Speaking of Mothers' Day, I had a fabulous one, as usual. My sweet family always go all out to make me feel like the most special, most loved mother on the planet. The spoiling began early for me this year, with my wonderful husband giving me my gifts the day before, so I could use them for my final cake class. (He got me a much wanted cake supply tote and some cake spatulas). He also surprised me by making my ginormous amount of frosting for me so that I could actually make it to my final when I thought I was going to have to miss it. (BEST present EVER). When I got home from my class that night, a gorgeous arrangement of flowers was waiting for me in the middle of our kitchen table. I woke up the next morning to my annual Mothers' Day feast, this time waffles, eggs and ham. (Yum.)

I was showered with cards galore (I think my kids made me six cards each :) and we enjoyed a wonderful breakfast as a family. After church we had an awesome dinner with my family at my sister's house, where we enjoyed the beautiful spring weather, I got some early birthday presents, and--the best part of the evening--my dad accused me of bringing a "lame cake from Yoke's" only to be shocked upon learning I had actually made it. Thank you Wilton classes!

Great weekend? I'd say so.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Going, Going, Gone

I am officially out of Eclipse tickets. 7 weeks and counting!!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Remember When...

...i bought clothes based on trends and brand names and not on whether or not they'd make me look pregnant?

...going to the movies was more about the guy you were sitting next to and less about the actual movie?

...i didn't start a sentence with, "I read on Facebook..."? had relationships with actual people instead of their cell phones?

...skinny jeans made their debut and I laughed and said no one would ever wear those?

...when everything seemed black and white instead of so grey? forehead broke out in a crazy rash so I cut my own bangs for the first time in my life? No? Oh, that's cause it just happened three days ago. (I will post a picture as soon as my cousin/hairdresser does damage control.)

...i did a post about my cat and all heck broke loose? That was awesome.

...people used to write letters and verbally speak to each other?

...that month in eighth grade I wore cleats as regular shoes and my mom yelled at me for putting holes in all the carpet?

...that time I wanted to blog but didn't really have anything to blog about so I just spouted off nonsense?

Good times, good times.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Newest Trailer and Other Eclipse Related Stuff

And they just keep getting better and better.

Speaking of Eclipse, I only have 32 tickets left and several people have mentioned they want tickets but haven't given me a number yet, so they are not on the list. If you want a ticket, you better snag one ASAP!!! They will be gone in a matter of days, guaranteed.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

High School

Do you ever stop and think about your life and where you're at now and realize with disgust that you're still in high school?

Obviously, I don't mean literally.

Lately I've been thinking about my life and the people around me and realizing with sadness that nothing's changed. It's like high school never ended.

We are all still competing to be the most popular. To be the one with the funniest blog, or the most friends, or the cutest decorated house or the best kids. We are all still vying to be BFF's with the It Girl--you know the one, the one that EVERYONE wants to be friends with--and all still secretly loving when She talks bad about another one of her BFF's. We are all still wanting everyone to be thinking about us, focused on us, be the center of attention. Hello, Blogger, Facebook and Twitter--look at me!

At 30 years old I thought I would be an adult. I think back to my mom at 30 and she was a full-on grown up. She had it totally together, 100% mom, no friend drama, no problems, nothing but the joy of raising her kids. And then I turned 30 and realized I had no clue back then. My mom was just like me at 30, and 30 is in no way a mature age.

So when does it happen? What's the magic age where we stop caring what everyone thinks about us? Where we stop feeling the obsessive need for everyone to love us? Where we are so self-assured that we can go to the grocery store with no makeup on and not feel the need to blog about it? 40? 50? Does it ever really happen?

I don't want to be in high school anymore. I tossed that hat in the air 13 years ago and with it, I thought, all that superficial, selfish nonsense. I want to be real, 100%. I don't want to care what people think of me. I don't want to worry about friend security. I don't want to constantly compare myself to all the women around me.

I just want to live my life and be happy.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

I have a hard time reviewing kid movies because, well, I'm not a kid. How can I review a kid movie from an adult's perspective? I feel like I need to do it in two parts.

So, from a kid's perspective (and by that I mean what I think I would have liked when I was a kid and what Macy said about it), the movie was pretty good. Macy said it stayed pretty true to the books as far as events and dialogue (I've never read one), and the movie was not only relateable for kids but had obvious kid humor too.

From an adult's perspective, however, I thought it was a major letdown. From what Macy had read to me from the books, I was expecting big-time laughs throughout. Um, no. The clever, comical writing in the books did not translate on the big screen. The movie was long, and slow. By the time it ended I thought for sure we'd been there three hours, and was shocked to see it had been under two. The movie was more serious than humorous, and for most of it you're just feeling bad for the poor guy who can't seem to get a break. But the worst part was the language, or, specifically, the use of the Lord's name in vain. Holy cow. Seriously, people. KID MOVIE here. There were no less than, I would say, ten.

But I loved the message. The entire movie was about being a good friend to your real friends, even if they're not "cool," and not trying to be someone you're not. Also, they touched on middle-school aged kids' relationships with their parents, and how, at that age, whether you want to admit it or not, you still need (and want) Mom and Dad, and that can be cool. Loved it.

There were some funny parts, and the boy who played Rowley made the movie totally worth watching for me. He was the most adorable, genuine character I have seen in a long time, and I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and take him home with me.

So, bottom line, there were some redeeming qualities, but overall, sort of underwhelming.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

And So It Goes

What a crazy last two weeks I've had. Besides the aforementioned drama regarding Eclipse tickets, which was an emotional ride all on its own, I have:

*Been working every day at my dad's shop, filling in for his secretary who is on medical leave for a month. I haven't worked out of the home in over seven years and it definitely takes some getting used to. Fortunately, I enjoy it. I love having something that forces me to shower and get ready every morning and have makeup and fixed hair the entire rest of the day. I love feeling like I've accomplished things before lunch and helped out my dad. I love feeling important and obviously, making money while I do it. And since I've done this job in the past, it was easy to jump right in, especially with my dad and brother as bosses. You can't beat that. Oh, unless you add going to lunch with your hubby every day because he works there too. Which, I do!

*Celebrated my baby girl's 9th birthday. It hardly seems possible. How in the world am I old enough to have a 9 year old??!! I totally remember turning 9, and it doesn't seem that long ago. For her birthday, Macy chose to have donuts brought to school, which I did at lunchtime, and sat and ate with her class, which was awesome. Then she chose to go to Red Robin for dinner to have her favorite spaghetti, but was adamant that they NOT sing to her. Afterward we took her to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid (her favorite books) and left her little brother at his cousin's house to play (thanks again Danyelle), because we were fairly certain he wouldn't appreciate this grown-up movie. Great foresight on our part. On Saturday, we had an Opposite Party. We sent out invitations telling people they were NOT invited to a party that was NOT going to be on Saturday and was NOT for Macy's 9th birthday. Macy was so worried people were going to think were just being rude, but I assured her they would know they were invited simply by receiving the invitation in the first place. :) We had cake and ice cream for lunch, sandwiches for dessert, and all the guests took home birthday presents. The girls had a blast and Macy seemed to love it, so it was a success.

*Joined Facebook. I know. Seriously. Once again, I am a self-proclaimed hypocrite. I ended my boycott and decided to join the rest of the world. (I'm not gonna lie, peer pressure's tough!) And, I'm totally that person now that can't have a conversation without saying, "Did you see on so and so's status..." or "well, we're friends on Facebook and..." Yeah, I hate me too. It's been a blast feeling connected with my friends all day long, but a bit surreal reconnecting with people from my past. Very. Surreal.

*Started taking Wilton cake decorating classes!! I am so excited, I can't even tell you. I am obsessed with cake decorating as of late and drool at the mere thought of one day being able to create masterpieces out of fondant and gum paste. I've only taken one class so far, and, being the perfectionist that I am, hate that I'm not already a pro at it, but at least I'll learn patience, if not the art of icing the perfect cake.

And I think that's about it. What'd I tell ya? Crazy few weeks. Now if I could get rid of this ache on the left side of my head/face that I suspect is due to a cracked tooth, I'd be a happy camper. Oh, and for anyone that's wondering, I have around 75 tickets left. Better snag one if you want one!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


It has been brought to my attention that people are questioning the $11 ticket price for the Eclipse pre-release screening. Here is the breakdown:

Regular ticket price: $9.50
Summit's added pre-release screening fee: $1.00
extra: $.50

First let me address the $1.00 fee. This is exactly what I know: That Summit tacked on a $1.00 pre-release screening fee, which goes to them. That's it. That's all I know. I don't know why they did, but I think it's safe to guess they're trying to bank on the Twilight craze as much as they can because they can and people will probably pay it. There. Now you know as much as I do about the fee. If you have more questions about it, I'm sure you can call Fairchild and they can fill you in better than I can.

Now, about the $.50. When I realized the ticket price was going to be $10.50, I cringed, thinking of all. those. quarters. Dealing with $9 even last time was hard enough with all the tens I was given and all the dollar bills to give back. But $.50? It was only going to add that much more to the headache that collecting money already is going to be.

However, never in my wildest dreams did I ever consider making a profit off of this. Although I have had COUNTLESS people tell me I could and I should for my troubles and effort and time and headaches, I was absolutely not comfortable with it at all. But when I thought about trying to deal with bags of change, I just wasn't going to do it.

So I decided to round it up and make $.50 off of every ticket. But the more I thought about it the more I didn't feel good about it, and I started thinking of ways I could put the money back into the screening night, back to you guys, like buying some big item for people to win that night or something. You may not believe this, and that's fine. For anyone who really knows me, they would know that charging people for getting them movie tickets is not something I would ever do.

I was not keeping this a secret. I was never trying to hide this. I had extremely limited space in which to post my facebook announcement, already having to cut and delete things out of it that weren't absolutely imperative just to get it to post. Then I copied and pasted that announcement to my blog. I knew people would question the raise in price, and I was prepared for it. I guess where I made an error in judgment was not wanting to get into the whole explanation of "not wanting to deal with quarters" on facebook or anywhere else when the two people who asked me asked and honestly, because I didn't want to hear anyone say "you're making a profit off of this?!" I guess I should have broken it down earlier, but I didn't and I'm sorry.

If you don't want to pay the extra amount for a ticket, then you are absolutely free to go another time. If everyone has a problem with this (with the exception of the ten people who have already claimed tickets) then I guess I'll have to give up the theater, which makes me sad, but I have to have a minimum of 225 to get it. If, however, it's worth $1.50 extra to you to have a guaranteed seat in a "private" theater and get to see the movie hours before everyone else, I am happy to add you to my list and buy you a ticket and we will have a blast that night.

Sorry for any confusion or cause for the gossip train. Thank you to my wonderful, loyal, amazing friend for coming to the source and asking me straight out. And thank you to all my friends who know me well enough to know I wasn't lying about Summit's fee or "pocketing $375 off of this" for my own personal gain.

And I'm taking any and all great ideas on a $125 prize that night.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Eclipse Pre-Release Screening

It's official.

I got a phone call today from Fairchild
offering me one of only four theaters for the pre-release screening of Eclipse
on Tuesday, June 29th somewhere between 8 & 9:00 pm.

Being the masochist that I am, I've decided to take it on once more.

So, for anyone in the Tri-Cities or surrounding area,
I am taking names of anyone interested in a ticket ($11).
If you are, EMAIL ME at
Spread the word, I've got roughly 250 seats to fill.
I won't be collecting money for a while.

Let the mayhem begin.

Friday, April 2, 2010


Sorry I sort of fell off the radar there for a bit. It's been a rough week. But I'm finally bouncing back (yeah!) and feeling good, and in the mood for a little bit of.......


Ricky Martin Reveals He's Gay

What?! This is a totally unexpected, shocking realization that no one could have guessed ten years ago. Next they'll try telling us that Richard Simmons is gay. And that the earth is round.

Stephenie Meyer Announces Fifth Twilight Series Book

(If this is the first time you've heard this, don't get too excited. It's a novella called The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner--you know, the newborn vampire that appears in Eclipse for half a page?) did a poll asking if people plan to read it. I didn't vote because there was nowhere to check "It would be physically impossible for me to be less interested."

Jesse James Checks Into Rehab Facility

Weird...this sounds so familiar.
Celebrity guy gets caught cheating...celebrity guy gets caught cheating a lot...celebrity guy checks into "rehab" without specifying which kind...Oh! I know! I know what comes next! Jesse James will return to golf and play in the Masters.

Heidi Montag

I have no headline for her because there were just too many to pick from. First she famously gets 10 plastic surgeries in one day and becomes almost unrecognizable. Then she fires her own husband as her manager and hires a psychic instead. Then she fires the psychic a week later saying she doesn't want any men telling her what to do and that she just wants to focus on her movie career and for people to see her for the mogul she is. Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. Bravo. You have accomplished a feat that I never thought possible. You have officially replaced Lauren Conrad as The Hills cast member that I despise the most. And I've never even seen an episode.

Kate Gosselin Was Frightened Watching Herself on DWTS

Kate, now you know exactly how the rest of the world felt when we heard we had to watch you every week on Dancing With The Stars.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Here's My Thoughts...

You can give me the penny later.

parent/teacher cOnferences: went great
Jasper healed up aNd back to his feisty self

tulips and daffodils blooMing in my yard = happy me
Lego Rock Band being played at mY house pretty much around the clock

new favorite: Siobhan Magnus on American Idol
Feeling better but stIll sooooooo wiped out
watched the making of Eclipse on New Moon DVD; a tad excited now
wishing I had a good book to reaD while I lay around recuperating

my kids growing up way. Too. fast--It makes me ache
excited fOr camping
hanging out with Payson all Day, every day this week. love it
trying not to worry about the heAlth care bill...and failing every time
wishing I could get the storY in my head on paper easier

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Budding Rock Star

Macy has a new favorite hobby: writing down the lyrics to songs so she can rock out in her room. She does the whole play/pause thing over and over again, writing down a few words at a time, until she has the whole thing written down and can sing along with all the words. I have a new favorite hobby too: reading the words that Macy writes down as the lyrics. Of course, I can't do it when she's around because my laughing would probably hurt her feelings. But I'm sorry. Oh. My. Goodness. It's priceless. Here's her latest song deciphered (exactly as written, no corrections made):

Party In The USA
(by Miley Cyrus)

A Hots of a plain in L.A.M. they were dreaming with my car again
welcome to the land of fame x x oh, am I going fit in
jump to the cab for my first time
look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign
this is all so crazy everyone seems so famos
my tumy turns and I feel kind of home sick
who takes my pictior and I kind of feel nervos
is when the taxi man turned on the radio
and a jazzy song was on, a jazzy song was on,
and a jazzy song was on so I put my hands up
playing my song and butterflies fly away
not in my head like yeah,
moving my hipps like yeah,
so I put my hands up
playing my song and yo know I'm gonna be ok yeah
It's a party in the USA yeah
It's a party in the USA
into the bob of my taxi cab
everybodys looking at me now
like who's that chick that's rocking kick
you've gotta be from out of town
so hard that my girls aren't around me
is that deffenely not the national party
cause all I see are celas I guess I never got the cheekas
my tumys turning and I feel kind of home sick
to much pictiars and I'm nervos
is when the D.J.s on for my favrat tive
and the brittny song was on,
and the brittny song was on,
and the brittny song was on
so I put my hands up playing my song
and butterflies fly away
not in my head like yeah
moving my hipps like yeah
put my hands up playing my song
you know I'm gonna be ok yeah
it's a party in the USA yeah
it's a party in the USA
like open on a fly to my home dep denie
something stop every time
the thing I take I feel alive
(repeat chorus)

I haven't been able to bring myself to tell her that back in the OLD days we used to buy CD's at the store and they came with all the words inside! But where would be the fun in that?!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Highs and Lows

Boo for day five of being trapped in this house with sick kids. I forgot what outside looks like.

Yay for getting to sleep in today. (And pretty much every other day this week.)

Boo for cheating rats. I'm so done hearing about yet another celebrity guy who thinks marriage vows don't apply to him. Sandra, you deserve soooooo much better.

Yay for a cat who is using his litter box again! It's ridiculous how thrilled we are every time we see poop in there. It means it's not hiding somewhere else in our house for us to stumble upon at some later date.

Boo for getting sick from my kids. It's criminal. "Here's your payment for being a great mom and nursing your sick kids back to health: a virus!"

Yay for upgrades. We finally did it, after seven years. Finally a DVR for both tv's and being able to record two things at once!

Boo for no Grey's or Survivor this week.

Yay for getting my iPhone to ring again after a month. Double yay!!

Boo for missing ward temple night tonight.

Yay for amazing friends who will drop everything to go to the movies with me so I can get out of this bloody house!

Boo for Kate's second failed marriage. I'm sad for her. Darn you Oscar curse!

And finally, yay for all of your sweet comments. It really made my day. To answer a few of your suggestions, yes, I could take my blog off of Twitter but it kind of seems like too little too late, you know? These people have already found my blog. I can't make them un-find it. So for now I'm going to block anonymous comments (which will only mostly fix the problem. A few of the harsh comments have not been anonymous.) and see if that does the trick. If it doesn't, I'll worry about going private then.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Mean People Suck

I have a dilemma that I am unsure how to resolve.

A while ago I joined Twitter and attached my blog address to my profile, thinking it would be fun to have new people find and read my blog.

I just. had. no. idea. how many new people would find and read my blog. But I loved it. I loved the fact that people were reading and enjoying my blog just because they liked what they read, not because they knew me personally already. But I'm not completely naive. I knew that with the good would come the bad. I knew there was a good chance I would eventually (probably sooner rather than later) say something that someone wouldn't agree with, that would even offend someone. I was prepared for this.

But I found that it became hard to blog, always wondering if what I was saying would offend Joe and Jane Blogger. I knew that even if I wasn't saying anything I believed was remotely offensive, that a lot of people out there could find it so purely because we share different belief systems.

Turns out I was right. (I usually am. :) And it's destroying this whole blogging thing for me. Not because I can't take a little criticism, or because I can't handle someone disagreeing with something I said. It's because every time I go into my email and see another Anonymous comment, my stomach balls into a knot as I wait for it to open. And having people tell me I should be ashamed of myself is not something I handle well. It's one thing to disagree with an opinion. It's another to bash someones integrity and say ugly, hurtful things. It chips away at my soul a little bit each time.

The thing about it is that all the people who read my blog before the whole Twitter invasion know how very joking I am half the time. They know when I intend something I've said to be completely tongue in cheek. They know that when I end a post by offering up my cat, that not even a fraction of me is serious. They know my sense of humor, and (hopefully) appreciate it.

So I can't handle people swooping in, taking every single thing I say literally when I am so obviously joking, and judging me for everything I say. No wait, I take that back. That I can handle. It's the comments telling me so that I can't handle. Because if you don't have the balls to sign your name to a comment, you're too much of a coward to be saying it in the first place.

I have truly enjoyed the comments of those that are kind and appreciative. I have enjoyed the new readers that have made awesome comments that made me smile. I hate that the jerks out there have to ruin it for everybody. Because now I debate on a daily basis whether or not to go private, something I really, really don't want to do. But if it's what will keep me blogging, I will do it.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Edward and More Edward

I have a cousin named Aubrey who is awesome. She is beautiful, intelligent, creative, and most importantly, she and I share the same sense of humor. Oh, the bodily function jokes we've shared over the years. We got in trouble for a "joke" once that apparently only we found funny. Good times, good times. Anyway, a while ago Aubrey had a contest on her blog that totally showcases her humor. We were all supposed to come up with the best tag line for this new roll-on foundation (and when I say roll-on, I mean with an actual tiny paint roller. Have you guys heard of this?!). We were pretty clever, I think, and she found us all to be winners. So to pick someone to receive the prize, she picked a number at random and that was me!! I was so excited, and had no idea what I was going to get. When the package came in the mail, I opened it, and burst out laughing. I should have known that Aubrey would think of the perfect prize for me.

I am finally the proud owner of my very own Edward Doll! And the best part about it is that he actually sparkles! If you look closely his skin is iridescent and glitters slightly when you turn him and the light hits it. How cool is that?! I want to do something awesome with Edward. I'm still brainstorming. Thank you Aubrey! I love him it!

Speaking of Edward, did you all see the newly released Eclipse trailer! Can I get a woo-oot woo-oot? (Did you all just picture me raising the roof? Cause I totally was.) In case you missed it and don't feel like going YouTube surfing, I've provided it below for your convenience. I take care of my bloggers like that. You're welcome.

Did you notice the new Victoria? I watched it three times before I realized her face was different and remembered she was being played by a new actress. Weird. Only 3.5 months 'til the eclipse!

P.S. Did you know Blogger spellchecks the word "bloggers" as if it's not a word? That's funny.

Friday, March 12, 2010

"What Are Those Big Balls For, Anyway?" --Macy

It all began with a much-beloved cat

that was named after a goofy-looking vampire.

The much-beloved cat had a problem.
He was bladder-control challenged.
He sprayed. A lot.
It started out once or twice a week.
Then it became daily.
And although he only ever did it in his litter box,
it filtered out into the rest of the rooms,
and soon our house had a permanent smell of ammonia mixed with death.
We could no longer take it.
An appointment was made.
You know, for a little snip snip.
(We weren't positive this would cure the spraying,
but we were optimistically hopeful.)
And while we were at it, a little claw-removal.
My kids were terrified.
Although they had been the recipients of many a gaping claw wound,
they loved this cat more than anything in the world.
After much reassurance, the deed was done on Monday.
We picked him up on Tuesday.
And missing a few vital body parts.
(We had no idea that neuter = castration.)
His paws looked like they had been put in a blender.
His rear end...well, you can probably imagine.
His eyes were goopy from artificial tears they used during the surgery
and made it look like he was constantly crying.
He couldn't walk straight due to the sedation.
He hid under beds, something he hadn't done since he was a kitten.
He growled when we came near him.
He didn't make a peep for three days.

We had to try to keep him from licking his wounds
which proved to be impossible.
So we bought a Cone of Shame.
When we put it on, it was the saddest thing ever.
He just went limp, submitted completely.

Until we put him down, and all heck broke loose.
And it was clear he was going to injure himself more by trying to get it off.
The Cone of Shame was removed.
Finally, we let go. We let him lick. And so far it's been fine.
More and more I questioned what we'd done.
Was it really worth putting him through this just cause of a putrid smell?
Should we have just stuck with the neutering
and bagged the de-clawing?
I didn't know.
But luckily, each day gets better.
He started meowing again.
He started eating and drinking again.
He started trusting us again.
He started spraying again.

Wait, what?
He's still spraying?
And it's where this time?
In our CLOSET??!!
You've got to be kidding me.
This was the ONLY reason we had him neutered.
He doesn't go outside. Ever.
He wasn't going to be impregnating anyone any time soon.
And he's not cuddlier, as was promised.
So basically I just put my cat through hell on earth
(and as a result, all of us),
cut off the poor guy's family jewels,
and paid $170 to have him start spraying his disgusting FUNK
all over my house instead of nice and neat in his litter box like he used to.
Totally FRICKIN' fabulous.

Anyone want a cat?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Oh What A Night

Oh, the Oscars. Every year as I watch I wonder what it is about them that I love so much, and every year I have a harder time figuring it out. I don't really know why. They are superficial, incredibly self-indulgent, and often times painfully awkward to watch, and yet there I am on my couch every March, filled with excitement as the first glammed-up stars make their way down the red carpet. Isn't it great?

Here is my own personal list of Best and Worst of Oscars 2010:


Sandra Bullock's Best Actress Win - For being an actress I once couldn't stomach watching, she sure has made it high on my list of favorites. Although I still have not seen The Blind Side, she says bitterly, I think she deserves it just for being an amazing actress and starring in so many great movies. Her acceptance speech wins my vote for best acceptance speech of ALL TIME, and completely summed up what I love about her: She was emotional, endearing, and funny all at the same time. LOVED IT.

Gabourey Sidibe - When she sat and listened to Oprah's tribute to her with tears streaming down her face, I wanted to cry with her. I loved seeing what she was feeling: a young girl plucked out of obscurity to become this epic star over night, sitting at her very first Oscars, possibly about to win the award for Best Actress (she didn't). I love that she was able to put aside the plastic-y show that all stars encompass at the Oscars and...feel. It was a very real moment.

Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin - As co-hosts, these guys had me cracking up every time they were on stage. Their casual banter was soooo much funnier and easier to watch than the put-on, rehearsed jokes that the usual non-comedian hosts do.
Kathryn Bigelow's Best Director Award - Only because I love witnessing history. The first female to ever nab this award, she was shaking like a leaf as she accepted both this and the best picture award (for her movie The Hurt Locker) and was gripping her Oscars like her life depended on it! So sweet.


The Best Actress/Actor peer tributes - Does anyone else HATE these? In theory, it's a swell idea to have someone the actor worked with introduce them. But four minutes of a "peer" gushing over the nominee while the camera parks itself in front of said nominee for the duration is painful!! What ever happened to just good ole"and the nominees are..."??

John Hughes' tribute - Sure, I liked Ferris Bueller's Day Off as much as the next girl, but, seriously? I lot of great people in the movie industry died last year and all they got was a blip on the In Memoriam montage. I was left wondering why this guy deserved so much air time.

Sean Penn - Presenting for something (I can't even remember), he made a confusing, uncomfortable comment that I'm sure if I understood would have been controversial.

Sandy Powell - Accepting her award for Best Costume Design, she began by saying, "I already have two of these." (meaning Oscars.) Hey, Sandy, maybe hide the plethora of Oscars you have, because I know of at least four other people who would gladly bludgeon you to death with them.

And that was my take on the 82nd Academy Awards.
What did you think?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

I Hate To Admit...

Some great (and creative) friends of mine, a trio of sisters, have been coming up with genius ideas to blog about lately, and yesterday they invited their readers to join in this one, I think because they knew it was an especially stellar idea that would be hilarious. (At least, theirs were.) So here is my list of things

I Hate To Admit...

*That I read Baby-Sitters Club books until my sophomore year of high school.

*That if my kids wanted to rob a bank and get tattoos to celebrate, I would totally let them if it meant I could extend my nap.

*That I don't really like other people's kids. I've learned to love a few of my kids' friends and a few of my friends' kids, and of course my nieces and nephews, but it wasn't easy.

*That I can count the number of times I've made our bed in our married life on my hands.

*That I average making one dinner a week...and that I am so proud of myself when I meet that quota.

*That I would literally eat dessert for breakfast, lunch and dinner without shame or hesitation if it wouldn't eventually kill me.

*How much I worry about people liking me.

*How many times in a week I try to start eating healthy...and epically fail.

*How much of a chore it is for me to read my scriptures.

*How much of my day is spent counting down 'til the next time I can sleep.

*How much I thrive on other people's controversy and drama.

*That I secretly love the song Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus.

*That I once got two speeding tickets in one week.

*That I dream of one day being a household name.

*How much I love lists like these, and how long I could actually make this list.

Friday, February 26, 2010

It's All About Me

Because I have new followers of my blog that don't know me and more joining every day, I thought I'd do a little Alicia 101. Me in a nutshell, if you will. (Simon would probably call me self-indulgent, but whatever.)

My name is Alicia (pronounced uh-LEE-shuh).
I'm 30 years old.
I live in Washington state.
I married my soul mate.
I have two awesome kids.
I suffer from migraines. A lot.
I'm writing a novel (as seen on Teaser Tuesdays).
I love movies and all pop culture.
I have the best friends in the world.
I love junk food.
I have a ginormous vomit phobia.
I secretly dream of fame.
My favorite colors are red, black and white.
I was once obsessed with Twilight but the worldwide craze killed it for me.
When I was little I wanted to grow up and be a writer.
I have a cat that despises my very existence.
I can't say no. To anything.
I belong to this church.
I love to sleep. Like, looooove it.
I have suffered from anxiety my entire life.
I laugh like a truck driver.
I am literally (not joking) addicted to gum.
I dream of being skinny again.
I am a hardcore hopeless romantic.
I am all over the place when it comes to my blog.
I hate vulgarity.
I hate things that are fake (including people).
I am in love with my iPhone.
I'm still trying to find my place in this world.

Hope that fills you in. Hope you like what you read. Hope you'll decide to stick around.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Making Me Smile Today...

*My kids outside practicing their dribbling skills together.

*Macy repeatedly saying her stomach still felt "oozy" after getting sick.

*Sahara BBQ pizza on it's way to my doorstep

*Payson demonstrating the Flippity Flip--the ONLY way to serve a tether ball.

*Hearing Payson say "Flippity Flip."

*Falling in love with my husband all over again when he asked Macy on a date this weekend.

*Going on a long walk this morning and talking with a close friend.

*New followers on my blog (welcome!!) that I have never met.

*American Idol tonight