Monday, August 18, 2008

Why Do You Love Me...Let Me Count The Ways

Okay people, I'm going to give it to you straight. I'm feeling blue. Very blue. I don't know why, but isn't that often the case when you're feeling blue? The bad thing is, this blueness is coming right after I decided to separate my blogs, a decision I am greatly questioning. Why? Well, to be honest, because I miss my comments. I'm not gonna lie, I miss them. A lot. And for anyone who has ever been lucky enough to experience the senselessness that is depression, you might understand that I'm beginning to develop somewhat of a complex. Bordering on paranoia.

I thought, worse case scenario, my comments will be split in half. Half will go to my personal blog, half will go to my movie blog. I'm starting to think maybe that would have been best case scenario. Where did everybody go?! I keep telling myself, it's summer, lots of people aren't blogging. Lots of people are traveling. I know I've been doing a lot of Twilight-themed posts lately, maybe everyone is simply vamped-out. But it doesn't make that number 2 or 3 next to the word comments any sweeter. It just doesn't.

So here's the deal. I considered having a giveaway. Nothing pulls people from the woodwork like free crap. But the thing is, I got nothin' to give and no cash in which to buy it. So (and I hope you'll all appreciate my honesty) I'm just gonna ask. I'm just calling out all my blogging friends to give me a shout out and maybe turn some of this blueness into....redness? (What is the color of happiness?) You can say whatever you like, just to let me know you're there, you're still reading, and you still like me. If you really feel like making my day, you can say something complimentary or something you know will make me smile. Or, you can go all out and tell me exactly why you love me, stating specific examples. But, whatever, it's up to you.

There's no time limit, no rules, and (sorry) no prize. Well, except for the knowledge that you're helping out a friend in need of a serious self-esteem boost. So.....comment!

36 comments:

marisa (maloy) anderson said...

okay alicia....i've been a closet reader of your blog...and now you know it. i love your truthfulness! there's nothing more annoying than reading about someone's perfect life and perfect kids and perfect hair, etc... you are real and always have been real and that's what made me like you. (a long 12 years ago!) hope this makes you smile!!!

Em and Ms said...

Hi Alicia! I'm sorry you're feeling blue. I'm pretty sure the color of happiness is considered yellow, but in light of your Twilight obsession I think red is a very fitting color. I read your blog often but don't always comment. We don't know each other that well but I always enjoy what you have to say.

Brenda said...

Hey girl... I am sorry I haven't commented lately, but I have bloglaziness... I haven't been commenting much lately for anyone (rude, I know). I wish I could blame it on trying to finish Breaking Dawn, but that isn't even started yet! So, I guess I have been avoiding you for fear that I may read something that I don't want to yet until I finish it. I just want to let you know that I am hear if you need a friend. I know how it feels. You are a great person, with an amazing heart and personality. From the first time I met you I have enjoyed being around you because you always have a way of making everyone around you feel good and smile. People are drawn to you. Keep your chin up and call if you need to. XOXOXOXOX

Amy said...

I too have noticed a drop in blogger comments and it is a disappointment. But, if it makes you feel any better, Rach and I were just talking tonight about wanting to hang out with you and your kids, maybe a lil McDonald's playland time or something but then I went and got strep throat from somewhere and so I shant be calling you anytime soon, I know how much you hate being sick! So, as soon as my antibiotics kick in, and I'm sure my kids aren't getting in, then we'll be calling and setting a date. As long as your willing to hold the baby!

Marilyn said...

I want to go to a movie with you! Because I love you. And you are one of my most favorite cousins. And because you make me laugh. And because you owe me a movie...except I'll totally pay because I know how much it sucks to be broke. Call me.

meohmyers said...

Still here, still reading - both blogs! Just trying to get caught up on everything since August started. You know you are one of my most favorite people. I hate that you're feeling blue. I'll call you when it's at a more decent hour and we'll make big plans. Until then, think of rabid dogs. Smiling? :)

Kate said...

just remember it is summer and I am sure people are just enjoying the weather outside (i dont know why, it is too hot!!lol)

I think you are such a neat person and wish I could get to know you more. Everytime I see a post for a GNO I get super jelous because I wish I could go hang out with you guys (usually a bad time)
When we were in the same ward, I looked up to you, I thought you were such a nice person to everyone and a great primary chorister and wished I would be that knowledgable and good with kids.
I hope you start feeling better and you see how many people care for you because you are such a super cool person:)

Kate said...

just remember it is summer and I am sure people are just enjoying the weather outside (i dont know why, it is too hot!!lol)

I think you are such a neat person and wish I could get to know you more. Everytime I see a post for a GNO I get super jelous because I wish I could go hang out with you guys (usually a bad time)
When we were in the same ward, I looked up to you, I thought you were such a nice person to everyone and a great primary chorister and wished I would be that knowledgable and good with kids.
I hope you start feeling better and you see how many people care for you because you are such a super cool person:)

lindsay>boo said...

Yeah, I'm with Brenda. I think I have a case of blog-laziness. Since there is only a little bit of time before school starts, I've been trying to cram everything in. I think comments will be higher once school is in session again.

It was nice to see you the other day. You are very fun and witty, Alicia. We all love to be around you. Thanks for your friendship.

Anonymous said...

Alicia
Shelby Shoemake here, former Pascoian :), I am one of your anonymous readers, and I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy reading both your blogs! Like Marisa said you keep things very real, just like this post letting people know how you're feeling, so cheer up, you are loved by many, even us that have never met you. Hope you have a better day!

Heather said...

Awww, we love you. My comments have been lacking too.... so don't feel bad.

I love your laugh, let's rent Baby Mama so I can hear it again!!

ashley said...

Alicia, your amazing and I might be the only one (but I'm sure I'm not) but I LOVE all of your Twilight posts, and I will never be "vamped out". I definitely agree with Marisa from above and the fact that what you blog about is real. Your not superwomen (although at times i think you might be!) and you fill all of us bloggers in on your joys and trials. It's been so fun getting to know you better over the past couple of months. So keep it going!

tharker said...

My favorite line of this post, "Nothing pulls people out of the woodwork like free crap." Genius, pure genius Alicia!!!

I've been very blog lazy this summer. I've haven't commented nearly as much on my favorite blogs as I normally do. Speaking of comments, I just want you to know that I've missed yours on my blog. You're so funny and smart Alicia. I'm glad that I've had the chance to get to know you better through this little blogging thing.

Amy J. said...

OK I just left a super long awesome comment and once again my internet kicked me off in the middle of it and I lost it all! I'll just call you with all my cool info but the best part of the whole comment was...

Branson loves you and he likes to stick his fingers in your mouth to make himself laugh.

Stacia said...

Alicia, I admire your truthfulness. I have often felt like you do now. I get 3 comments about something important in my life and others get 35 on a post about a tv show.

My favorite memory of you is staying up until dawn talking at a crop and laughing until my cheeks hurt and your laughter filling the room.

Hope your day is better!

Vanessa said...

Hi Alicia! I'm sorry you are feeling blue! I have loved getting to know you in the primary! I was so excited when I found out that you were going to be our new secretary because I've always thought I wanted to get to know you better and now I have a way. I check your blog all of the time, sorry I'm not a good commenter. You are so fun to talk to and I love your wonderful laugh!

Rachael said...

Well, it looks like everyone else has said it all! Talk about a response! I had no idea I was friends with such a celebrity! Wait, you are better than a celeb because we all actually like you. And when we read your blog faithfully it is to see what has been making your life go round, not to see if your Brittney showed up in any more pictures!! See how much we love you???? We WILL get together soon. Hope this post of awesome comments helps you feel better, and remember, if you are at home feeling lonely, there is a pretty good chance I am too.

emahaf said...

I have your blog on my favorites list because I love to read what you have to say. I love your book and movie reviews I am a terrible blogger, but one of the reasons I don't blog that much is because I consistantly get 2-5 comments 5 if I am lucky, so I totally know how you feel. Hope the blues turn red have a great day.

Staci said...

ALICIA...
I don't blog that much, but when I do, yours is one of the ones that I always check. I totally love you, admire you, and appreciate your honesty and sincereness. You are a great friend, example and cousin. Hope you cen get rid of your blues and realize how talented and appreciated you are!
Love, Staci

m-a said...

I always look forward to reading your blog, even if I can't comment because I'm holding a crying baby, or stopping a baby from pounding on the keyboard. I love that we always get the raw unedited version of your thoughts. You write things that many people think, but never say. I think many people are intrigued by the authenticity of your writing.

Shayla said...

Some times I think I should just put my name on your blog and just let you write my posts for me. :-) I'm sorry you're down, I wish I had a magic answer cure to it...unfortunately, ten plus years of searching for that magical cure hasn't turned up much. I have learned a few things that sometimes help...here they are in no particular order:

**send hubby to store to buy a couple bags of your favorite candy, a meaningless magazine and your favorite pop, then eat, drink and read to your heart's content after the kiddos go to bed and don't allow guilty thoughts about what you are consuming enter the area!
**make your bed...I know, that's a weird one, but it helps me sometimes to not climb back in later in the day and just give up
**say a prayer...I know, obvious, but really is it when you're depressed? Not always.
**call a girlfriend to just chat
**plan a GNO with lots of food and a good movie included
**call your mom or sister and just cry
**allow yourself to NOT DO ANYTHING all day long and don't let guilt get a word in edgewise about it. If you do start feeling guilty, call me and I promise to give you tons of validation and maybe even take your kids so you can really NOT DO ANYTHING.
**go out to eat at your favorite restaurant (is there a theme with food starting here?)
**wear only your most comfortable, happy clothes all day long...even if they're ugly. :-)
**ask for a blessing
**watch a movie that you know will guarantee a good laugh or old episodes of The Office.

I don't know if any of that will help, but I'm sure reading all these awesome comments that people have written hopefully will. I agree with everyone else, I love your blog (both of them now), I love that you're my friend and I'm sorry I've been lacking in the comments lately too. Love ya!

Kristi said...

I would add to that list, count your blessings. You have a ton of friends. WAY more than I have. And, the color of happiness is yellow. Red is passion.

Nicole said...

Hey, Taneesha, I'm still here. I think you've just gotta give the two blog thing a little time. And, not during summer.

And, I still like you;)

4starmom said...

See you got people out of the woodwork and you didn't even have to do a giveaway! I haven't been too great at writing comments because my kids have been going to bed way to late this summer. But tonight, 8:00 and all four are in bed.

4starmom said...

I guess I should have read the rules better. Reasons I like your blog.
*I can hear your voice as I'm reading your posts.
*You share the cute things your kids say.
*You take naps.
*Your movie and book reviews are entertaining.
*You tell it like it is.
*Your this week in hollywood (where is it anyway?)

Ms. Kristen said...

Hey!!! I am the only one that is suppose to be blue!!!
You are the lastest top winner of BUNCO!!! That can make anyone smile!
You know how much I love ya ALICIA! You were the first person I called when I had my major post pardom....cause I knew you would understand! You listened and I will never forget the feeling I had to know you wouldn't judge me! You are wonderful that way, you know!
You can always call me and we can go eat an entire tub of popcorn whiile watching a sappy love movie!

Noelle said...

imagine if you will a grey elephant, holding a very dainty fluffy white flower with the words, "we are here, we are here we are here!" flying out from the flower. we are your who's my dear and WE ARE HERE! we love you and love your blog and love every time it says (1) by either of your blogs on google reader. love. it.

Andrea said...

Alicia, to me you are the epitome of cool. And, you have a ton of cool friends. I read both your blogs, sorry I'm not a great commenter. And I love getting your comments on mine now!!

I don't have much to say, except... I am hating Breaking Dawn so far. I know, I'm sorry. I have been listening to the CDs, I am a little more than halfway done and, honestly I just don't know if I'm going to finish it!! I would tell you more specifics, but I don't want to give anything away to anyone who might read this comment. Actually, I don't know how you feel about the book yet becuase I have yet to read your review. Maybe you hated it too? We can chat about it some time. Hope you get feeling better, seeing as I am the 28th person to comment, I'd say you've got a few people who love ya.

D & C said...

Wow, I can't add anything more to all that has been written, but I want to say that even though I don't comment a lot I LOVE to read your blogs, you are so honest and open and it makes me feel like I am not the only one in the world with heavy thoughts and days... Also remember it is always a let down to come home after any little trip away and especially one like yours to Forks! You can always call me too, I can relate...

Kris said...

Alicia, I think you are funny and always a hoot to be around. I have been meaning to tell you that I'm STILL reading that vampire book. As soon as I'm done (probably not til after the Olympics) then I will come back and read your review and leave my comment. I've been avoiding all of the book, and I can't wait to finish it! We need to have a night to discuss everything. Food, Fun and Vamps.

Kris said...

Oops, I meant to say, I've been avoiding all of the book talk.

debsters said...

Ok, so I am commenter number 32 or something. Don't feel down. See everyones loves you. I enjoy reading your blog because honestly I feel as though I've gotten to know the "corners of your mind" a lot better over the last several months. Both your blogs are on my Reader and I read both, all the time.

Jodi said...

Okay, I have a legitimate excuse...my computer has been totally fickle since that darn lightning storm. It will work one afternoon, not work for two days, etc., etc. But now that I have my internet running tonight - I'll admit, I checked your blog FIRST! I think you're awesome and I love that we're becoming great friends (I hope that's not just one sided). ;) I think you're hilarious and I love laughing with you. You made me feel so special on my b-day and I'll never forget that!! Thanks!! BTW, I've NEVER had 33 comments! Way to go!! ;)

Lisa said...

DUDE! So I've been thinking that since we share the wanting to become an actress thing, we should really start keeping an eye out for up and coming events (like the Twilight movie that was looking for extras...I still can't believe I didn't know about that.) See this way once we get our break...I say WE because it WILL happen for both of us, then the comments will be flying in!!! And not that people will only comment because you're famous, but because well uh...just trust me the comments will be a flyin'

Anyhow, I love ya!!! I think you're a far out chick happenin in a groovey kind of way!!!

Davis Family said...

Sorry I'm late (I've been out of town all week) Love to read your post (I do read both of them) Maybe a new necklace would help you out of your funk......

Lisa said...

Boy oh boy...am I behind! I was in the hospital with Elisabeth all last week and wasn't able to keep up with my blog reading. I would sneak a peek at a few here and there, but I was using the public computer in the hospital family room, and there were usually people waiting for a turn. So anyways, I would leave you a comment about cheering up, but according to the post above, you have already done that :)

I see that you are surrounded by many that love you and care about you. My comment is coming late, but I want you to know that I check in on your blogs (yes, both of them) too. Have a wonderful day Alicia!