Thursday, March 18, 2010

Mean People Suck

I have a dilemma that I am unsure how to resolve.

A while ago I joined Twitter and attached my blog address to my profile, thinking it would be fun to have new people find and read my blog.

I just. had. no. idea. how many new people would find and read my blog. But I loved it. I loved the fact that people were reading and enjoying my blog just because they liked what they read, not because they knew me personally already. But I'm not completely naive. I knew that with the good would come the bad. I knew there was a good chance I would eventually (probably sooner rather than later) say something that someone wouldn't agree with, that would even offend someone. I was prepared for this.

But I found that it became hard to blog, always wondering if what I was saying would offend Joe and Jane Blogger. I knew that even if I wasn't saying anything I believed was remotely offensive, that a lot of people out there could find it so purely because we share different belief systems.

Turns out I was right. (I usually am. :) And it's destroying this whole blogging thing for me. Not because I can't take a little criticism, or because I can't handle someone disagreeing with something I said. It's because every time I go into my email and see another Anonymous comment, my stomach balls into a knot as I wait for it to open. And having people tell me I should be ashamed of myself is not something I handle well. It's one thing to disagree with an opinion. It's another to bash someones integrity and say ugly, hurtful things. It chips away at my soul a little bit each time.

The thing about it is that all the people who read my blog before the whole Twitter invasion know how very joking I am half the time. They know when I intend something I've said to be completely tongue in cheek. They know that when I end a post by offering up my cat, that not even a fraction of me is serious. They know my sense of humor, and (hopefully) appreciate it.

So I can't handle people swooping in, taking every single thing I say literally when I am so obviously joking, and judging me for everything I say. No wait, I take that back. That I can handle. It's the comments telling me so that I can't handle. Because if you don't have the balls to sign your name to a comment, you're too much of a coward to be saying it in the first place.

I have truly enjoyed the comments of those that are kind and appreciative. I have enjoyed the new readers that have made awesome comments that made me smile. I hate that the jerks out there have to ruin it for everybody. Because now I debate on a daily basis whether or not to go private, something I really, really don't want to do. But if it's what will keep me blogging, I will do it.

20 comments:

Jessica said...

I love your blog and hope you don't go private! (but I would still totally read if you did, that is if I got an invite hehe! :) I agree with you if someone has something to say, put your name to it or don't say it at all. I love your blog cause you are real and it's so refreshing to hear that you are going thru something that so many of us maybe are, but can't put it out there! I think you should blog whatever you want and if people don't like it, they can stop reading!

a girl in a gorilla suit said...

i agree with jess. i think you are an amazing blogger! it is so sad that someone(who doesnt even know you) would be so mean. maybe you should prohibit anonymous commments, that way the MEAN people can go complain somewhere else, but all us NICE people can still read all about you...good or bad!!!

WE LOVE YOU, ALICIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Washington Rimmasch Family said...

Alicia I love you and your tounge in cheeky-ness. Nough said. -N

phix27 said...

I know I don't comment a lot on your blog, but I just want to say that I love reading it. You're so funny and those people that write those horrible things are ball-less idiots. You shouldn't even bother reading them. Anyone who can't respect another's opinion and feels the need to trash someone based on what they believe is a dumbass that I hope I never meet.

Please continue to write, it always puts a smile to my face. =)

Lisa said...

mean people are jealous

the end.

JenFielding said...

Dear Anonymous Mean People,

Little do you know you've stumbled on the blog of one of the most talented writers I've ever come across. I work for a reputable publishing company and I've seen my fair share of writers. Alicia is the real deal. I wish I could see your face when you witness her become a household name and when crowds of fans stand in line for hours at Barnes & Noble to get a copy of her next novel. And the cat post...seriously? If you couldn't tell that the author of that post is brilliant and has a serious gift, (that she signs her name too), then don't bother making anonymous comments. You're just wasting everyone's time.

Peace Out.

dandee said...

I love Jen! I love you! And PLEASE, for the love of all the goodness in the world, don't stop writing here. I'm not sure what I would do without my "Tuesday Teasers". It's all I got until your book is published.

Goose said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Goose said...

I think people get offended by everything these days. Here in Atlanta Asians got offended because they wanted to name one of the transit routes the "Yellow Line." Maybe if I was in their shoes I would see why they are so sensitive to that, but the point being is that we all need to be more think skinned, or maybe that's just easy for me to say because I'm a majority. Anyway, great blog -- keep blogging! (sorry, I mis-spelled a word above and re-posted).

Marilyn said...

Can't you just change your account so that anonymous comments aren't allowed?

I love your blog. I love your sense of humor. I love your sarcasm.

Vanessa said...

You have an awesome blog, don't forget it. It is really fun to make fun of your anonymous commenters :) I especially liked Bill's response to the crazy cat lady.

Do you read CJane's blog? She's written about this problem lately too.

Noelle said...

yes, just take off annonymous people and you'll be good, hopefully. i'm sorry people are so bitter and mean. so lame. i always lose 'private' blogs so hopefully there will be something you can do. can you take it off o twitter?

hatch said...

I am literally scratching my head over this one. How could anyone be offended by what you blog about. Seriously. You are great and very funny! It just kills me that annonymous can dish it out, but if to scared to tell you who they are.
Keep doing what you do! Don't let cowardly annonymous bring you down.

PaintedWings said...

Amen!
You just got a new follower : )

Mike Brinkerhoff said...

Mean people suck and should feel ashamed of themselves for anonymously trashing a talented and funny and SATIRICAL writer.

They won't, but they should.

I hope you don't go private, but if you do, I also hope I get an invite.

Hang in there!

Shayla said...

It's not fair when blogging becomes no fun because of worries over what other people are thinking. Stay strong, who cares, be yourself, we'll still love you. Well, I will, anyway...and I'm all that counts, right? ;)

Alison said...

Everytime google reader shows me that you have posted something new I am always so excited to go read it! And I have to agree with Jen that you are an amazing writer and, if I may say so, that is saying a LOT, because there are very, very few that I like and when I read your stuff I am amazed!

shannon mariah said...

You shouldn't stop blogging or go private just because of a few miserable people. They made a personal choice to read your blog, and they can exit out of the page anytime they wish. Letting them worry you is only leting them win, and it certainly seems as though you have tons of people willing to back you up whenever they do decide to open their mouths. Personally, I thought the poem about the cat was hysterical- and I know exactly how that goes :)
Shannon

tharker said...

Love your sense of humor! You don't have to go private or even get rid of Anon. comments. Comment moderation is the answer. You see all of the comments before they post to your blog, and you approve them. That way, you can weed out the nasty, mean, sucky people.

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