Friday, August 31, 2007

Celiac Shmeliac

I'm feeling the need to whine and complain.

I think I've been pretty half-glass-full on this whole Celiac thing. But let me tell you, IT SUCKS. No really, not even a little bit cool.

In the beginning, I thought it was totally do-able. I could still have some of my favorite cold cereals (which is still my saving grace), I could still have Cheetos, corn chips, potato chips (which is wonderful except that I eat more of them now than ever before and it doesn't fare very well for the weight-loss thing), and I could still have potatoes and rice. I love Asian food, so it was perfect....rice and meat, I can have that!

Nope. Come to find out there is no Asian sauce that is not soy sauce-based. Soy sauce has wheat in it. There goes my beloved teriyaki. There goes Asian food.

Eating out, one of my very favorite things to do, is no longer fun. The fun has been taken right out of it. Even things I thought I'd be safe with have gluten hidden in it, somewhere. Bacon? What the heck is that about?

You'd think this would be a good thing, that I'd be forced to eat healthier. But my body has had 28 years of junk food. No matter how hard I try, I cannot convince it to change. So I compensate for the loss of white breads, cookies, cake, etc. by eating the crap that I am allowed: ice cream, chocolate, and what has become my staple: nachos, which are basically melted cheese and sour cream with a side of corn chips.

But it was all worth it. After less than three weeks I started to feel better. No dizziness, no nausea, no headaches, no stomach pain. Oh, did you notice that "was" back there? Yeah, that was past tense. Lately I have felt like crap and I don't know why. Not the same as before, but crap none-the-less. The headaches have been the worst of it, accompanied with being soooo tired I feel drugged. Everybody told me when I went off of gluten I'd feel better than I ever had before. Those people need to be hit in the head.

In a few weeks they're gonna give me the happy juice and stick a tube down my throat to see if it's actually Celiac. I think there's room on the table for one more, if anyone cares to join me. I heard it's a blast.

So, to sum up, I don't get to eat any of the stuff I actually want to and I still feel like crap! Celiac is the BEST!

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