Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Perspective

Today has been a wee bit of a struggle for me. Just a wee bit, mind you, but after the months of this unexplained, unprecedented contentment I have been experiencing, it's throwing me for a loop. Is this really what my life was like every day? No, it was worse.

Today my old friends--self-doubt and inadequacy--crept inside my brain in their oh-so-subtle way to wreak havoc on my general well-being. The good news is, my new friends--confidence and self-assurance--were still there in the background, cheering me on and telling me I can kick my new friends out the door any time I want.

Nothing horrible has happened to me, life just got busy and I can't seem to keep up, a feeling I don't particularly do well with. Also, some other minor speed bumps here and there have me questioning, once again, myself as a mother and as a person. Blech. I have not missed this at all.

And then I read this. I only started reading her blog a few months ago, but it never--NEVER--fails to inspire me. I love her honesty. I love that she doesn't hide the fact that she is struggling from the world. I love how hard she tries to remind herself of the blessings she does have, even while she's suffering from pain that I can't even imagine.

Perspective.

11 comments:

Shayla said...

Why does life have to be so hard sometimes?! Sorry you're having a rough day. I hope it only lasts a day and then goes away. :-) You're a great mom and an awesome person! Don't let that self-doubt try to fool ya!

Rachael said...

I have to say I love gaining a different perspective. Anything that just kinda makes you stop and think, giving you a new way to look at things, or just reminding you what you already know, but in a new way....

Ben and Alissa said...

Alicia, this is a post I would normally not comment on just because my way with words sucks. But I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and I totally second everything Shayla said. If there's anything I can do let me know! Send Payson and Lego Batman down here and he can hang out!

Lauren said...

Nie is so inspiring. I think Heavenly Father knew she would change the world...and that is why she had this trial. So amazing.

Noelle said...

terrible days, those are. just as nienie's doctor said 'this too shall pass'. thanks for the link to her blog. i've never read it. just remember your birthday. :)

Kristi said...

Oh! I know! I read that post too, and it made me think how silly I can be for making such a big deal out of trivial things in my life. I also really admire NieNie's honesty. I wish I could just write whatever the heck I wanted. But I still worry too much about what others might think.

You are right, it is all about perspective. Hormones really jack with mine. I hate it. I hope you can kick your nemeses out the door to another galaxy. And for the record, I think you're great!

meohmyers said...

Chin up, Leeshie. I'm so sorry you're hurting. I know you can forge through this. I'm here, going nowhere, always ready to listen.

Anonymous said...

It'll be OK :) In my experience it's the tough times that help make the good times seem so good. Opposition in all things, right?

Dandee said...

love you.

Marilyn said...

Alicia, I read that Nie post and with tears in my eyes decided I should not complain so much, because my life is so easy in comparison...I simply cannot imagine the pain (physical and emotional) that she is going through.

I hope your life gets easier too. Love you!

Davis Family said...

What a terrible time for me to have to postpone your therapy..aka...card night. Don't worry, it will be next week and everything will go back to normal!