Monday, November 17, 2008

Twi-Nightmares

So...there's only 3 days left on the countdown and I'm starting to get a bit nervous. (Feel free to slap me upside the head the next time you see me if you are ready to vomit at the sight of yet another Twilight movie-related post from me. Or, deal with it, because, let's face it, no one's forcing you to read my blog. THREE DAYS, PEOPLE! As if I could blog about anything else.)

So I'm nervous. After all the hype, the waiting, the excitement, the anticipation that I have completely built up in my own head, I reached the last week on the countdown and it was like I crashed into a brick wall going 150 mph. For the first time ever, I stopped and thought, "Huh. This movie could really suck. And not in all the right ways like all the tag lines say." And then what? Imagine if you will, the biggest downer of ALL TIME. Basically you wouldn't want to be anywhere near me on Saturday, I'll put it that way.

So to calm myself down a little bit, I'm just going to put my concerns about the movie out there. Here are my thoughts on the potential deal-breakers for Twilight the movie that swirl through my brain at random times of the day:

(Driving my kids to school)
What if Edward's hair is too big? I know that in most of the pictures I've seen they've managed to keep the delicate balance between sexy-messy and bedhead-messy just fine, but there was that one picture with the swooped bangs...

(Walking through Walmart)
What if there are more parts like the scene where Edward is demanding in a creepy, wife-beater voice that Bella say the word "vampire" out loud? I already can't watch that scene without cringing. Why is he yelling at her? Real Edward doesn't yell at Bella, and he doesn't get thrills off of hearing her say "vampire" out loud. Maybe movie Bella should be a little scared of movie Edward. Maybe she should talk to movie Charlie about a restraining order. I'm just sayin'.

(Making Payson's lunch)
I take issue with the baseball uniforms. Why baseball uniforms? Did the producers read Twilight? Would the uber-cool Cullens with their kick-butt fashion sense be caught dead in cheesy baseball jerseys for a little game of Vampire Baseball? Methinks not. I can't take Edward seriously in a baseball jersey, I just can't.

(Trying to fall asleep at night)
Why, oh why, with the flying?! It is a travesty of epic proportions that the movie-makers in all their "movie-making wisdom" thought it would be super-cool to hook them vamps up to some wires and put 'em up in some trees. Maybe I can just close my eyes during all the ridiculous acrobatics. Or maybe I'll get lucky and get hosed down with explosive butter.

And lastly...

If Edward's eyes pop out and his head jerks around every time he's reading someone's thoughts like Matt Parkman on Heroes, I'm walking out of the theater.

18 comments:

Shayla said...

I know this might make me a "not-a-true-die-hard-lover-of-Twilight" fan like you, but as excited as I am for this movie, I HAVE to go into it believing it's just NOT going to live up to the books. Hopefully that will cushion my disappointment and let me enjoy it for what it is, right? Let's hope... As for the baseball jerseys...I actually caught a glimpse of that picture and thought the same thing! Why, oh why would they think the Cullens would ever wear stupid baseball jerseys is beyond me.

Marilyn said...

I have myself prepared that Hollywood has changed it enough that the books will still TRUMP the movie. So I am going into it knowing that Rob Pattinson is just some great eye candy along with a pretty great storyline.

So as far as the flying goes...that really bothered me too, but then my sister in law (who is a very recently obsessed Twilighter) pointed out to me the parts in the book where Edward and the Cullens jump very high and far...she thinks that that is what they are trying to portray in the movie rather than flying. If I try to think about it that way, it doesn't bother me as much.

So...two questions. Have you seen the new tv trailers with all new scenes from the movie??? it has scenes with her mom on the phone and a new scene with Charlie and a couple of new Edward and Bella scenes.

Oh, and I totally agree with you on the baseball uniforms...totally WRONG! The Cullens would NEVER have worn those.

Oh, and the second thing...what happened to Lauren's Bite...it's gone missing? E-mail me or call me.

Aubrey said...

You are really thinking too much about it Alicia! Just enjoy the movie, relax and then if it sucks you can blog out your feelings!!!

(hee hee)

I love hearing about how excited you are about this movie and the books! If I were to ever read these books it would be because of your enthusiasm for sure!

P.S. I saw a picture of the baseball uniforms and was a bit confused at why cool vampires would be wearing those things....

Melissa Mae Johnson said...

My biggest concern? I can't stand the actress they cast as Bella, but after watching the previews, she might not annoy me. We'll see.

AOlson said...

I have concerns too about Hollywood's version of the book. Just like with Harry Potter it really bothers me when they taint the story with their own version. Sometimes I think just leave it alone and don't make the movie, but they movies are fun to watch even when they get it WAY wrong. I totally agree on all of your concerns.

Andrea said...

The whole scene of Edward wanting Bella to say "vampire" doesn't sit right with me, either. It was just a tad creepy.

Can't wait to read your final review!

Davis Family said...

you crack me up :)

Connie H said...

...as IF you would walk out! ha no matter how bad it was being at that moment, I KNOW you would watch to the end to see what the do next, whether good or bad to let us know your review!! too funny, though I understand your thoughts.

Noelle said...

just be like me and expect it to be horrible. but you know there will be plenty of parts where your heart will go pitter patter and those will be the only parts you remember.
hey - did you get my shout out from my blog?

Amy said...

LOL... love your comment about Matt Parkman

Alicia said...

Brenda, I'm so glad someone found the humor in this that I was going for...
Amy, so glad someone caught the Matt Parkman comment!
Noelle, No! I have to head right over there!

Rachael said...

You are so funny! I have had some similar thoughts, not to mention that I think I will spend the whole movie wanting to tuck Bella's hair ALL the way behind her ears. So if you happen to glance over at me and my hand is moving in the air, now you will know why! I have stopped watching previews and new clips because I want to be as surprised as I can be. Kinda like how I don't always like to read the beginning of the books. Either way, it should be lots of fun, maybe we should eat somewhere after that has a separate room since we will probably all be so loud.....just a thought...

Amy said...

You guys are killin' me with the baseball jersey criticism. But ONLY because I'm a sucker for b.ball uniforms, I do agree that it just doesn't make sense for them to have them on. But I still think he's hot. I'm going to try Marilyn's trick of thinking of it as jumping rather than flying and am afraid I'll spend the whole time wondering why Bella is so flippin' monotone sounding. At least from the one or two clips I've watched I think her voice is funny. And I also loved the Matt Parkman comment. I was laughing out loud on that one. Good call.

Nonetheless, still excited for some GNO, eye candy, soda, and popcorn.

MichelleB said...

Thanks for the good laugh this morning. The Heroes comment was great!

Davis Family said...

so my sister in NC saw a special viewing of it last night and said good things about it...she said the baseball scene was awesome....just thought I would pass that along.

Lisa said...

Okay either I'm incredibly naive, or just incredibly easy to please. Probably stemming from my childhood I've learned not to have extreme expectations of things. Makes for a more happier me. I LOVE movies, but not in a movie critic-y kind of way. Just in the way that you can escape reality for an hour or two and stuff your face with fattening goodness, for me...that's all I need. I realize there is more of an emotional investment seeing as this is THE. Twilight. movie, but still I say, "relax and enjoy it." Just expect it to be complete and total crap and I assure you, you will leave feeling pleasantly surprised. ;)

meohmyers said...

This cracked me up! If I had more time I'd write a lengthy comment here but look at the clock in the little corner. I shouldn't even be on the computer right now!

So this is me calling "DIBS!" on the seat right next to you on Friday. I can't wait to see this movie and know exactly what you think of it - LIVE! And, should I be nervous for Saturday?! :)

Andrea said...

Guess who scored a ticket for tonight...!!!

So now I can be there to talk with you through the whole movie. And I'll make sure and watch your reaction to everything, so that as we leave the theatre we can loudly discuss all the things we did or didn't like. Can't wait, see you there!!