I hate to get all serious and stuff, but I think it's no secret that I've been struggling lately, hence my last post. Today Macy and I went to her therapist (most of you know about the whole eyelash/eyebrow pulling issue she has) and her therapist told me the last thing every mother wants to hear: that my anxieties, no matter how well I mask them, are affecting Macy and causing her anxiety. Let me tell you, I'm not a crier, and I was fighting the tears. I cannot tell you the guilt it gave me. But.......
There is a silver lining. It was totally the wake-up call I needed. I realized that so much of the problems I have been having with Macy and my kids in general is things I need to change about myself. It was sort of something I knew all along, but this was the slap in the face that woke me up to it, made me realize it I just need to suck it up and make these changes.
I know it's going to be hard, but I know ultimately it will make my life, and more importantly, my kids' lives so much better.
I'm still planning on buying Love and Logic, but a lot of what I need to change I already know.
It's just the changing part that's so scary.
Anyway, basically her therapist told me that she wanted to start focusing less on Macy and more on me, because we can't help Macy's anxieties until we fix mine. So now Macy's therapist is my therapist. That was a tad unexpected. But I'm hopeful. I know I need this.
Sorry to get so heavy and deep on you all, but life's not always giggles and jokes, right?
So, send good thoughts my way that I can do this, because change has never been easy for me.
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