Wednesday, January 10, 2007

WARNING: LENGTHY VENTING SESSION

Okay, I don't think I've used my blog yet to get out my "Mommy" frustrations, so I think I'm due. I know we've all been there, it's nothing you haven't heard before, but I swear, so often I feel as if I am the only one with these problems. At least, I'm the only one that vocalizes it.
Basically I'm ready to pack my bags and go to Hawaii. Bill can come if he wants to, but if he doesn't, I have an automatic baby-sitter.
My kids are making me crazy!!! From the moment Macy got home from school yesterday til the time she went to bed last night, she did nothing but whine, complain, argue with me, and then whine some more. I don't know what is with her. She usually whines and argues with me a couple times a day, but not all day long. It's probably only the third time in Payson's life that he's the easy one. And he's making me crazy, too! That should tell you how bad Macy is being.
Granted, she's been sick with a cough and cold, so maybe that explains it, but still, if I have to hear her whimper one more time that anything with sugar makes her cough, I'm going to send her to Hollywood where her drama will be appreciated.
And don't get me started on the whole pants thing. I love that she's a girly girl and a princess and all that, but somehow this girl has got to learn that pants are cute, too. I am a jeans girl. I have always been a jeans girl. I was a complete tomboy growing up. So it absolutely infuriates me that I buy these totally cute, trendy jeans for her and she refuses to wear them. Every single morning is a battle with her over what she's going to wear, and it always ends up with me storming off saying, "Fine, wear whatever you want" and her in tears (until I say "wear whatever you want" then the tears magically go away.) I love Friday's because it's P.E. and she knows she has to wear pants and completely accepts it because her teacher says so, not me. Maybe her teacher can tell her that whining will give her germs and arguing with her mother will stunt her growth. Anything her teacher says is law.
Then there's her new favorite hobby: Doing things to Payson simply to ruffle his feathers and get him to cry. Because then not only am I yelling at her to knock it off and leave him alone, but I have to deal with him crying 75% of the day. And I know I am not alone in the fact that there are times your own child's cry can send you into a nervous breakdown. And Payson's cry is more of a......screech. The very sound of it raises the hairs on the back of my neck and sends me into overdrive.
But none of this is anything compared to the thing that is by far the hardest, and here is where I feel completely alone as far as other mothers being able to relate:
My kids have absolutely no concept of entertaining themselves. None. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I played with them too much as babies, or let them watch way too much t.v. as toddlers, I don't know. But I would rewind time and go back and change whatever it is I did wrong in a heartbeat, just for five minutes to myself. People might judge me for how many movies my kids watch in a day, but this is why, and this is the only reason why: It is the only way I get anything done, the only way I am left alone for any period of time.
They have bedrooms full of toys that they don't touch. They don't even go to their bedrooms except to sleep, and it's not even like their bedrooms are upstairs in no-man's land or on the other side of the house. They are right there, two feet from the family room.
Let me give you an example of just how bad it is. This happened just last night when Bill was at school:
(To set the scene, I had just heard Payson screech for the fiftieth time because Macy wouldn't ride scooters with him.)

Me (in a very friendly voice so they didn't think they were being punished): "Okay, for the next half hour I want you to play in your room, Payson, and Macy, you in yours. You're not in trouble, I just want you to play apart from each other for awhile. You can do whatever you want, play with whatever you want, just not together, and in your own rooms."

Instant crying

Them: "I DON'T (sob) WANT TO (wail) GO TO (breath) MY ROOOOOOOM!"

Me: "No, you're not in trouble....." What's the point, they'll go if they think they're in trouble.

Payson goes into his room and closes the door. He cries for a while, then starts playing with his Leap Pad (there is hope for him.)

Macy goes into her room wailing. She stops. I happily go and rotate the laundry, cherishing the silence. No more than two minutes later, Macy is standing in the doorway of the laundry room. "Can I help you?" She says, whining. I start to shake a little. I repeat everything I said before, about staying in her room. She leaves.

Two minutes later, she's in the doorway again. "Can I just play in the family room?" My eye starts to twitch. Are you kidding me? What part of "in your room" did you not understand? Are my kids really this dense?

I'm gonna go ahead and censor myself now, as the next part was one of those moments all mothers have that they're not the most proud of. Let's just say I went a little crazy. Macy went to her room, and actually stayed this time. When I went in about 45 mins. later (oops) she was laying on her bed, picking at her cuticles. Seriously. Not even when being confined to her room, forced to play with her toys, can she play with her toys.

I give up.

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