Thursday, December 11, 2008

I Feel, Therefore I Am

I've been thinking about something.

Passion.

No, not that kind of passion, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean passion as in feeling passionately about something. I had already been thinking about this in regards to my never-ending blog posts about Twilight, when I came across a blog post (of someone I don't know) that really touched a nerve with me. The post was titled Public Obsessions and basically bashed people who are outspoken about their passions. It said, among other things, that these people throw the words LOVE and HATE around too much, and that they are somehow doing their loved ones a disservice by saying "I LOVE my family" and also "I LOVE Twilight." It said they rely on something like a book or a movie to define themselves.

Okay, I could go a little crazy right now, but I'm going to attempt to stay calm, cool and collected and discuss this in an adult manner.

I am an extremely passionate person. (If you read my blog regularly, this will come as no surprise to you.) I have always been this way. When I find something I LOVE, I LOOOOVVVE it. When something bugs me, it bugs the holy CRAP out of me. When something makes me mad (like that post) it infuriates me. And when something makes me sad or hurt, it nearly destroys me.

I used to worry, and sometimes still do, that I take it too far. To the point of obsession. I have also always had this tendency. My mom has always said, "It's a good thing you never tried drugs because you would have been in big trouble." Sad, but oh so true. I have a very addictive personality. When I was diagnosed with a mild form of OCD, I actually thought, "Well that explains a lot."

But now...I embrace this quality. I LOVE being passionate. I LOVE feeling strongly about things. It makes me feel alive. I have to take an anti-depressant every day of my life that quite possibly numbs me in many ways (I see signs that this is the case every day). So when I feel something, and I feel it strongly, you better believe I'm gonna take it and run with it.

When I found Twilight, I was shocked at how strongly I reacted to it. I still don't know exactly why, but I have my theories, the main one being that I have always been a die-hard romantic and this LOVE story appealed to me in a way no other had before. It just seemed to bring something alive in me. I LOVE the way it makes me feel. I LOVE the warm, happy feeling I get when I think about it.

Does this mean my testimony has suffered somehow? Does my LOVE for Twilight somehow take away my LOVE for my Heavenly Father or my religion? Or my family? Heeeeeeck no. Because that's how passionate I am. I have just that much LOVE to go around.

Does Twilight define me? Contrary to what many believe, no. I am a complex, multi-layered person. There are many, many parts to me. Twilight just so happens to appeal to the part of me that I feel exceptionally passionate about: LOVE. And romance. And those are parts of me, parts that define me. Along with tons of other parts that also define me. It makes me happy and so I think about it. I talk about it. I read about it. I blog about it. One day, guaranteed, it will fade away and I will be sad.

Is it okay for people to be passionate about things? Yes, it's okay. Is it okay for people to be excited about said things and blog about them and even get a license plate declaring their LOVE for said things? Yes, it's okay. Is it okay for people who aren't so passionate to be judgemental and holier-than-thou about people who are? No--NOT okay.

Note to those people: While you're still standing in line trying to decide which movie to see, we'll be blowing past you, heading into the theater, Twilight ticket in hand. How do you like them apples?

16 comments:

Lauren said...

You are amazing.
This was by far the best post I have ever read...EVER. Thank you Thank you Thank you!

I don't feel so sad anymore.

Nancy Face said...

Hi! I'm Lauren's mom. She sent me over, and I'm so glad! That post you're referring to really ticked me off, and I just didn't understand why it was written at all, knowing it would hurt or offend a friend. :(

I LOOOVE lots of things, too! I love my family! I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the church! I love Twilight! I love diamonds! I love food! :)

There's room inside my heart for these and much more! And by the way...I bought that awesome Edward Cullen license plate for Lauren last Christmas! :D

Alicia said...

Nancy, it's so weird but I was hoping you would read this, too. I'm so glad you commented!

Lauren- You're so welcome. Glad to help.

Shayla said...

Now I'm curious about this post that got you thinking... I've always loved that quality in you that makes you so passionate and outspoken about your feelings. I can be so wishy-washy and indecisive at times, I envy people who just KNOW how they feel about something and are willing to declare it to the world. But like you, when I KNOW and feel passionate about something, I sure ain't gonna let someone tell me not to feel that way.

Rachael said...

Amen

Heather said...

If you don't have something to be passionate about life is pretty boring. Enjoy what you love Leeshy Poo (is that spelled right?)!

Noelle said...

someone called me a fanatic and it totally offended me so i told one of my friends about it and she said 'well, noelle, it's not like your not opiniated about other things - why would you not be opinionated about this? (twilight)' so way to be alicia. i think it runs in the family.

lindsay>boo said...

I think it's great that people are passionate about things. I agree, life would be pretty boring if we weren't. I'm sorry to hear that you may have had a bad run-in. It is never fun to feel judged.

JenFielding said...

Amen Sista!

The truth about non-passionate people is that they most likely wish they WERE passionate about something. I can say that because I've never considered myself a very passionate person and when I see how much fun you have with things, I'll admit, I wish I was too.

Amy J. said...

OK once again you hit the nail on the head and did it in a great way. I could hear you saying, "Heeeeck no" like you were staning right behind me. I don't think I will read that article...I would get too worked up.

ashley said...

I can't believe that article, just from reading your blog about it, it hits a nerve! Actually it makes me kind of sad, whats wrong with being passionate about things? And why should that person care if people want to publicly declare there passions? Thanks for this post Alicia, like Amy said, you really nailed it. Maybe that's because I'm a fellow Twilight obsessive fan, and love your many posts about it! And if your referring in that last sentence about the apple in Edwards hands, I REALLY enjoy them :)

Lauren said...

Love the response from your post!!!

Lisa said...

I remember when Titanic came out. I was passionate, oh so passionate about it. Obsessive passionate. So I totally understand where you are coming from. I love being passionate about things and I agree that it adds a certain spice to life :) If you find something that you love, and makes you feel good....go with it!

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh, Lisa, I was too! Obsessed! I saw it in the theater NINE times. (I keep wondering if I'll break my record with Twilight.)

Marilyn said...

Alicia, you already know how I feel about this...we've talked about it. I would rather be passionate about something rather than live a life so boring that nothing excites me.

Lisa said...

I feel sorry for people who only love their family...la-ame. ;)