Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Things I've Learned From My Cat

1. Macy can read cats' minds. No seriously, she can, because if someone tries to give it a toy, she says, "NO! He doesn't want that right now." Or if someone tries to pet it too roughly (in her eyes) she says, "STOP! You're hurting him." It's amazing. I'm thinking of trying to get her her own reality show, like Cat Whisperer or something.

2. Our cat came from the gods. Apparently, our cat does things that no other cat has ever done before. Like sneeze. "Oh my gosh, he just sneezed! That's the cutest thing I've ever seen!" And roll around. "Aw, look at him roll, it's soooooo cute." And walk. (Hysterical laughing.) "He's walking! Hee hee hee." Who knew we got Supercat, with his amazing, other-wordly abilities? I bet his old owners are kicking themselves...

3. Bill feels the same about kittens as he does babies. I haven't seen this side of him in five years, with the baby talk and the cuddling and the searching for the little thing as soon as he walks in the door. Okay, I'm guilty too. Seriously, you'd think I gave birth to the thing. I might even decide to reveal that it sleeps with us in our bed, but I'm not sure yet if I will. Bill might not want everyone to know.

4. A kitten is a great substitute for a baby. Besides what I mentioned above, for the first time in two years I have no guilt over not fulfilling my kids' every wish by having a baby. In fact, the way they treat this cat, I'm starting to wonder if they think they are one in the same. Please, no one tell them otherwise.

5. Claws suck. A lot. Yeah, so apparently they don't de-claw kittens until they are at least 6 months old. Um..............huh? Are you kidding me? What in the HECK am I supposed to do until then? I am covered in scratches on both my hands and my face, Payson gets clawed at least four times a day, resulting in him sobbing and begging me to call the vet again to make sure they really won't take the claws out, and my curtains are starting to look like, well, like we have a cat.
Nan? Some help here? Anyone?

Oh, and we finally settled on "Jasper." Payson wanted "Jumper" or "Jabba" (yeah, as in The Hut), Macy wanted Chester or Baxter (??), Bill quickly vetoed my "Edward" and suggested "Carlisle," we called him "Cullen" for a day until I couldn't handle hearing my kids call him "Colon" one more time, and so it is "Jasper," which we felt was the best cat name.

Now if only I could get it to "clean" itself in private, life would be just purrrr-fect. (Sorry, I had to.)

18 comments:

Shayla said...

Your new cat is all we've been hearing about during our car rides home, too. :-) Nate's convinced that we got the dog solely to quiet my inner-woman voice that wants a baby. He's just wondering what we do when that happens again and again...cause he swears we aren't getting another dog. I think Jasper is a great name. When Macy told us his name was "Colon", I thought it was kind of interesting...but to each his own.

andrea said...

I think Jasper is the PERFECT name! If I see your kitty any time soon I will probably oo and ah, but the second it turns from "kitty" to "cat" I'm done.

AOlson said...

I have never been a Cat person. Kitty's I can handle but once they grow up I don't care for them much. You guys picked a good name and I think kitty scratches are worse than paper cuts. Owch!

Dandee said...

Welcome to the family Jasper!

Kristi said...

What's wrong with Colon? It's one of those random names you can give a pet just because. It certainly made me laugh!

You sound like good cat people. We tried a cat once... and wound up returning it. All it would do was sit at the back door and yowl. So not fun. We didn't want to try again.

Stacia said...

I thought that you would never get a pet, so this is so funny and adorable to me!

There are lots of different kinds of scratching posts and other things to give the kitty a place to scratch. But those sharp kitty nails will stay sharp unless you clip them. Or spend $20 bucks for a PediPaws!

And now you can probably see why I am so in love with our dog! She is a substitute for a baby to cuddle and snuggle with.

Ben and Alissa said...

I'm with Andrea on this, as soon as the little cute adorable kitty turns into a cat...no thank you.

I'm glad you found a good name that your kids can pronounce!

Mike Brinkerhoff said...

Nice Name.. Works well on a grey tabby! :)

As for the cleaning in private?? Ain't gonna happen. And the larger the audience, the more accurately he'll become the focal point and get to cleanin'.

lindsay>boo said...

Ha! This cracked me up. Like the name Jasper.

Davis Family said...

I am so glad that other people get pets, then my kids can play with them because we will never have an animal (other than my boys) living in my house. But Jasper sounds great...love the name. I was kind of hoping you would name it Brenda, oh well.

tharker said...

I guess Cullen would sound a lot like Colon coming from a child's mouth. That is hilarious!

I like Jasper! And have fun with those claws...ouch!

hatch said...

Jasper is a great name for your new addition!

Heather said...

Oh, go back to Colon please! So sweet, almost makes me want one.

Vanessa said...

Jasper is a great cat name-and vampire name, he can be a warrior cat. You make me want a kitten!

Amy said...

I like Jasper! So cute! Good luck with the claws.

Marilyn said...

Oh my goodness, you are so funny Alicia. Cracking me up this morning.

polka dots said...

i'm laughing. funny post. i like "jasper" too.

michellemybelle said...

You need to spary it with a water bottle everytime it tries to claw something it shouldn't. and get a claw tower that is can claw at. It worked for Annette.