Death to Blogger

I give up. I am the most retarded person when it comes to blogger. I had no idea I was so dumb, until good old blogger came along. Not only can I not figure anything out on my own where other people seem to whip up their blogs highlighted with all the fancy extra features in one afternoon, I can't even figure out how to do something once somebody has walked me through it step by step. If I fail at trying to figure out how to do one more thing on here that someone has said is "way easy" to do, I'm seriously done blogging. I feel so freaking incompetent!!
Can I figure out how to link someone's name so that you can get from my blog to theirs in a single click? Nope. Can I install the music codes once someone has walked me through it? No, the music keeps stopping. Installing a stat-counter when it tells you in detail how to install it? Nope, no where to be found on my blog. I am seriously ready to scream. I think I am a fairly intelligent person but apparently I am technologically-challenged.
I think I am going to try veering the world backwards, back to when we wrote on good old fashioned paper and called each other on the phone. At least I knew how to punch seven numbers and voila! there was that person I wanted to speak to. Stupid computers. Stupid blogs. Everything's stupid. I need to go to bed.

Kill Me Now

Alright, already. I get it. I'm sick. Now can we just get on with life? Every day I wake up expecting to feel better and every day I feel worse. I definitely have the flu, and am still so grateful it's not the stomach flu. I know I commented that I wouldn't waste my time with flu shots from here on out if it didn't prevent the stomach flu, but after this weekend, I would get shot up and down my arm if it meant not getting this crap. I feel like I've been hit by a truck.
My only happy thought that's getting me through this is that it has to end eventually, right? I can't be sick forever. Each day that goes by is one day closer to being better. How's that for being glass-half-full?
On the plus side, I got a nice, much-needed break from doing music in primary today! (Thanks Kim.) There is always at least a few benefits to getting sick.
Hopefully next time you hear from me I'll be my old self, complaining about life in general instead of being sick. Oh, those were the days......

Tag Time

When Danyelle "tagged" me on her blog, I had no clue what it meant, but thought, aw, that was nice. Then I forgot about it. Well, I'm seeing on everyone else's blog that it means I'm supposed to write 6 weird facts about me. So here goes:

1. I am more scared of throwing up than I am of dying.
2. I cannot swallow pills without food and something flavored to drink.
3. I can lay down anywhere, at any time, and fall asleep.
4. I will gag and spit out anything that has nuts in it, I despise them that much. But I like peanuts.
5. I suck on gum like a kid with a pacifier. I even sleep with it.
6. I was delivered by an anesthesiologist when my mom's ob didn't make it in time. He was so proud of having delivered me that he wouldn't hand me over to my mom. So I pooped all over his arm.
Okay, so I am now tagging: Karen, Shayla, and my cuz Stephanie

Coming soon to a theater near you: "Outbreak 2: Tri-Cities"

It turns out I was right. Everyone has been commenting on how crazy it has been with the flu going around. I have never before heard of so many cases, one after another. I was wondering if it was just coincidence that I was hearing of more cases this winter, or if we had really been hit extra hard.
Last night I got my answer. Apparently the hospital has signs all over the entrances saying "THE FLU HAS HIT {our town} WITH A VENGEANCE." Then Amy told me that John saw something on the news about the western states having mass outbreaks of the flu. It's seriously like I'm living in a nightmare and I can't wake up. It finally hit our house, after months of expecting it, but so far we've been lucky in that it doesn't seem to be the stomach flu, just the other flu where you're achy, miserable, etc.
I started coughing yesterday and it got worse as the day progressed. I went to bed with a headache and just feeling yuck all over at 8:30 and proceeded to toss and turn miserably for eleven hours. This morning I'm still coughing and my throat is scratchy but thanks to some Tylenol I'm not aching any more. Anyway, I am just so happy it's this and not the other dreaded stuff.
So today we are all home, nursing ourselves and feeling miserable. All I want to do is go lay in the bath but that's just not possible right now.
So, to anyone else who is ailing right now, hope you get over it soon, and to the still-healthy, STAY INSIDE and wash your hands-a lot.

High School Nightmare

I confess. I caved. I swore I would never watch High School Musical and I did. And now I'm paying for it, night and day.
I thought it looked like something I would like at first. Til I heard bits and pieces of the soundtrack in Amy's car and thought I was going to have to pull over so I could vomit on the side of the road. It sounded like the cheesiest, gaggiest movie ever. Every girl sounded like they were singing with clothespins pinching their noses, every boy sounded like they were auditioning for "So You Think You Can Be in a Boy Band." I couldn't wait for the H.S.M. craze to fade away, like I was certain it would.
But it didn't. And didn't. And didn't. It was everywhere! Suddenly this pre-teen made-for-tv Disney movie was a smash hit and everyone was talking about it. And if you know anything about me, I have to be a part of what everyone is talking about, especially if it's a movie.
So I borrowed it from Danyelle. Biggest mistake of my life. Wait, check that. Biggest mistake was letting Macy watch it with me.
I was really excited when I realized Macy could watch it with me. (I knew everyone else had let their kids watch it) I knew it was something she'd really like. Well, I was right. She really liked it. No wait, she loved it. Now we watch it at least twice a day.
Did I hate it? No. I would categorize it as somewhere between a guilty pleasure and one of those things that bugs you so bad you have to watch it. I was surprised that I didn't hate it. But you have to admit, it's a little addicting. The characters are impossibly cute, and the singing, although nauseating, somehow draws you into their Rated G world. But here is where my problem lies: those *!@#*& catchy songs. I can't get them out of my head! Never before have I had songs stick with me like these. Night and day, it's out of control.
Making dinner, I'll suddenly realize I've been singing over and over, "We're soaring! We're flying!"
Cleaning the house, it's "getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game"
But by far the worst is waking up in the middle of the night to, "This feeling's like no other, I want you to know!"
I feel like a crazy person, I can't get make it go away! Does anyone know of a support group I can join for people like me? I think I'll go online to look. In the meantime, I just wanna say, "We're all in this together!'

Three Cheers For the Super Bowl

Dear Super Bowl,
I just wanted to write and thank you so much for finally being here. You see, a few months ago, my husband and I started having problems: He wanted to watch football every Sunday all morning and I had a problem with it. At first I didn't care. I've never been the kind of wife that's like " NO WATCHING SPORTS ON SUNDAY." How could I be that hypocritical, knowing that next month I will be sitting on my couch one Sunday evening, holding my fake Oscar and rooting for Will to win best actor? But I had no idea that the football season lasted so long. And it was every Sunday. Every Sunday during the time we needed to be getting ready for church.
I have my wonderful brother-in-law to thank for this. See, Bill never watched football on tv before Jeff called and invited him to play Fantasy Football. Oh, the very words make me shudder. Suddenly Bill was standing right smack in the middle of his fantasy, and he had actually become that cliche macho man sitting on his couch yelling at the tv screen, as if anyone playing could hear him or care.
And did it stop when Fantasy Football ended a month or so ago? As if my luck would be that good! No, no, Bill was hooked. He had invested so much time and interest into this season that he just had to see who made it all the way.
So there he was, week after week, sitting on our couch Sunday morning into Sunday afternoon, watching that cursed game of football. Oh, he would help out. He'd get the kids in the bath while I got ready and did last minute music stuff.
"Daddy, I'm ready to get out." "Just a second, as soon as this play's over." Ten minutes later: "Daddy, I really wanna get out now." "Yeah, okay, I'm coming." Ten minutes later:
"Daddy, the water's getting really cold" "Okay, okay, I'm coming!" Ten minutes later:
"Daddy, I think I just saw the Titanic float by and hit an ice berg" Okay, the last part may have been fabricated, but the time frames were sadly accurate.
Soon I was counting down the Sundays til the Super Bowl like a kid before Christmas. And lo and behold, today, I got to cut the last link from my paper chain! Yipee!!! For once I am completely okay with having the tv be monopolized for five hours by guys in little pants and big shirts crashing into each other, because I know it is the last time I will have to do it! At least for another nine months or so.
So thank you, Super Bowl, for finally arriving and putting an end to my single-parent Sundays.
And, FYI, for some of us non-football fans, the only part of the Super Bowl worth watching besides the commercials was the half-time show. Ever since Janet had her "wardrobe malfunction", your halftime show has been as exciting as the game itself. Not. I would take a little sunburst nipple ring over Paul McCartney and Prince any day of the week. Yawn.
Yours Truly,
Alicia

Paying Homage to My Favorite Spaz

I always want to update my blog but I never have anything to say. I love how Danyelle does a little something every day, not anything big, but totally enjoyable to read, with an accompanying picture. So I'm going to copy her, since I think we have all agreed that in the blogger world, at least, it's complimentary and acceptable to copy one another.
So....since none of you know the real Bill, the one that isn't hidden behind shyness and fear of attention, I thought I would give you a little taste of the wonder that is Bill. It's seriously a shame that me, Macy, and Payson are the only ones that get to enjoy his twisted sense of humor.

Here my husband decided to show the kids what
would happen if you fell asleep while eating.


During a bonfire dinner of hotdogs and marshmallows,
Bill suddenly realized there was a camera present and saw an opportunity.


Macy was playing photographer and Bill
was doing his best model pose.

This isn't one of his best, apparently
he was having an "off" day.

My brother Ryan used to do this to freak me out, and I hated it. As luck would have it, I married a man with the same ability and affinity for doing it. It doesn't even phase my kids anymore.

So that's my crazy husband. See how much fun we have at home? Now the next time you see the shy guy at get-togethers sitting there all alone not talking, just picture him with Thousand Island all over his face.