Sometimes I sit down to do This Week in Hollywood and it's fairly easy. Other times it takes me forever to come up with stuff. Sometimes it's dang hard. There are weeks where celebrities just aren't being funny. Or maybe I'm not. But one thing is always constant: every week as I click on picture after picture of the rich and famous, there are always faces that pop up again, and again, and.....again. I get so tired of seeing these people, whether it's because I just really don't like them or just because they are everywhere, that I thought this un-funny week I'd showcase these photog favorites.
I've decided I only like Jessica Simpson when she's married. Newlyweds was on back in the day when I watched MTV, and I actually liked it. But once she and Nick broke up, well, she's not rockin' my favorite list. Her newest venture--country music--just makes me laugh. She started out as a Christian gospel singer. When that bombed, she went pop. When that bombed, she went all pure country on us. I'm anxiously awaiting her rap album.
Now, I actually like Katie. Her husband makes me want to chew glass, but Katie, I like. I think her daughter is adorable and I think she herself is classy. She's beautiful, fashionable, and poised, and handles the scrutiny well. So I guess this is a pity pick. I just don't like seeing her everywhere because it makes me sad. Look at that little girl hiding her face in her mommy's chest! She has had a camera in her face since she came out of the womb. Probably as she came out of the womb! Leave the poor child alone, and leave her mom alone as well. Go after the psycho dad, he deserves it. However, I have to say, Katie, not loving the hair. It was one thing to have matching mother/daughter haircuts, but matching husband/wife? Uh-uh.
Yes, I'm thrilled for her that she finally settled down and found happiness. What rubs me the wrong way is that she found that happiness by being a complete home-wrecker ("you can't help who you fall in love with" were her exact words I believe, or something close) and then displaying every single aspect of that relationship on reality show after reality show, as if we care. But, you know, the cute little word-play titles of each show make them totally worth watching, right? Her next show should be called: Tori Inn Dean-ial
The Jonas Brothers
I've already knocked their skinny jeans (but have yet to mention the uber-cool cowboy boots and hair that looks like it's permed) but haven't really delved much into just how annoying I find this trio. The fact that they can't seem to go anywhere without each other and proudly display their purity rings...I know these should be noble, admirable qualities, but for some reason it just weirds me out. Maybe if they all looked like the one with straight hair I would be more apt to enjoy pictures of them huddled together, grinning goofily at the camera.
Okay, I don't know this chick at all. I know that she has or had a reality show about her family and I think they're rich and she's known for her ghetto booty. That's about it. She's on Dancing With the Stars now, and that's why she pops up in every fourth picture on People.com, but does that mean I have to like it? Basically I can't stand it when reality "stars" get more press time than the A-list celebrities. I mean, I could go on America's Got Talent (I can pick stuff up with my toes, you know) but does that mean you all wanna start seeing pictures of me walking out of Walmart splashed all over the internet? I think not.
She's starting to become normal again, and I'm bored of her already.
Sorry, Rach, I just don't like her!! Every time I get online she's there, staring me in the face, saying "Look at me! Look at me!" NO, Lauren, I will NOT look at you. So there.
The only celebrity who consistently wears clothes with her own name and face emblazoned across the front, she was actually quoted this week as saying: "When you have your BlackBerry taken away, it's like the most painful thing ever." This was her answer to the question of what the hardest part of jail was. Oh, Paris. You continue to make our world a better place by allowing us to take your picture and look at you. Thank you, thank you.