Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Early to Rise, Healthy and Wise? Lies, I Say, Lies!!

It's 7:20 am, and I am the only one awake in a quiet house. This is something I've experienced maybe twice in my life. I am showered, dressed, and make-upped. (Yes, I know that's not a word.)

I've always wanted to do this, to wake up early before everyone else and get things done that I wouldn't normally have time for during the day.

Turns out I have nothing to do.

Waking up early is ridiculously overrated.

I could be in bed, getting some precious, much-needed sleep, curled up against my warm husband.

But I'm not.

Because the sleep gods hate me and have decided to punish me by making it impossible for me to sleep well past 4:30.

At 4:30 almost on the dot, I'm awake. (I should sue the sleeping pill company for all they're worth.) My body aches, I'm flipping and flopping all over the bed trying to get comfortable.

Then the dog starts barking.

No, not my dog. I don't have a dog. Because I hate them. Because they bark.

I don't know which of my neighbors this dog belongs to, but believe me, when I find out, (insert nasty threat here.)

Every morning. Dog barking.

So I put in my ear plugs.

Sent straight from heaven.

The dog continues to bark, but now it's faint, in the background. Manageable.

And then the sun starts to come up.

Out comes the black sleep mask.

Instant darkness.

Also heaven-sent.

No light, no sound.

Just an achy body flip-flopping around trying to get comfortable, now with foam plugs shoved in its ears and a stretchy mask strapped to its head.

At 6:00 I surrender. I fought the good fight, and I lost. I'm not afraid to admit defeat.

I get up, take a shower, start my day, with hours to spare.

Now what?


Aubrey said...

"Now what?" You write an awesome blog post! Do five loads of laundry, scrub all your bathrooms, mop the kitchen floor, make some homemade applesauce, give the family pet rhino a bath, solve world hunger, fly to SLC for a quick cousin visit, plant a few mushrooms, pick a nose or two, glue pictures of Edward to your walls, have a sword fight with your pirate neighbor, do a self portrait, have that long awaited boxing lesson, play dolls with the mice, buy some sexy shoes, see how many tootsie pops you can really fit into your purse, build your I Love Edward Cullen clubhouse in your backyard, go for a ride with your rocket pack, are you still reading this?

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh, Aubrey, that is hilarious. I am going to do all those things tomorrow morning.

Lisa said...

now what? are you serious? DUDE, play some video games!!!

p.s. fish don't sleep well...so quit flopping.

Amy said...

Oh, the possibilities are endless!!! Eat breakfast without anyone asking you to get up and get them something! Read a book! Watch a movie!

Sorry you're not sleeping well though!

MARISA said...

FACEBOOK! That's a good time-killer! Or you could go workout, you know, gyms open at 4:30am. Good luck with the sleep!

NaDell said...

Can you write at that hour? Or do you have to be in a certain mood to write?
Watch movies. Boring ones, and fall back asleep on the couch. Or better yet, make your dinner for the night so if you do get tired during the day, you can rest and not stress about dinner.
Maybe all the pot banging will wake everyone else up too. :)

ashley said...

Now, what? You could write some pages to your novel :) I'm sorry your not sleeping, that's the worst!

Okay, Alicia, I've been wanting to talk to someone about "The Vampire Diaries" and I hope maybe you'll read it. It's no where near Twilight and the writing style isn't my favorite but at the same time, the first book is JUST like Twilight. It's kind of creepy! And it came out in 1991, so maybe our dear friend Stephanie read this before?...She had to of! So if your not doing anything tomorrow morning at 4am, you could read it. Just a suggestion :)

Shayla said...

Seriously, Aubrey's suggestions are just too hilarious. :-) As for me, I think I want to cry that you're up that early and can't sleep. Insomnia in the middle of the night is one thing...but NOT being able to sleep in the morning?! That's just too terrible to even think about. Maybe we should start walking in the mornings again...although, you won't see me up at 6 a.m. makeuped. That's for sure... On another note...I totally missed the Friday weight thingy at Amy's!!! Completely FORGOT! This Friday I will be there FOR SURE. Oh...and since I got your images back up on your movie blog, I think it's time to update those movie posters, don't you? Send me some suggestions, k? :-) Here's to sleeping in the morning. The best use of morning hours I can think of. (Don't tell...but I think that's the best use of ANY hours of the day...just a little snooze, right?)

andrea said...

For the last two weeks I have been TRYING to wake up earlier than the kids to have a little peace and quiet time. But somehow they have a freaky sixth sense and, even if I quietly sneak out to the family room and silently read my scriptures and the sun isn't up and their door is closed, they just KNOW.

Sorry you can't sleep, that really sucks. But does it help your afternoon-napping abilities?

Amy J. said...

Love it. Now I want to know how many others out there have little black sleeping masks besides you and me. :)