So, I'm sure you're all dying to hear about my romantic weekend getaway. Where do I even begin? Do I tell about the wonderful time we had shopping and just being together? Or do I tell about the shack and the devil woman and our reconaissance work? How about I just tell the story? Before I do so, please refer once more to the pictures on the website that advertises Alps Romance Suites, the one that compelled Bill to choose it as the setting of our romantic weekend.
Okay, you are now fully equipped with what you need to truly appreciate this story.
It begins with the drive there which Bill almost killed us both. Too busy enjoying the beautiful scenery as we neared Leavenworth, he failed to see the car in front of us that had stopped in the middle of the freeway behind another car that was stopped, waiting to turn left. Bill slammed on the breaks after my scream brought it to his attention, but we just skid, barreling toward the car that we would have smashed into if it hadn't swerved around the car in front of it at the last second and drove off. I still don't know how we didn't get in a wreck. We pulled into Leavenworth excitied and anxious to begin what was sure to be a wonderful weekend. We followed the directions on our MapQuest printout, passing the main street in Leavenworth where all the Bavarian shops and pretty much everything were. We pulled onto the street that our hotel was on, and started to panic. This is what we saw:
Yup. The ghetto of Leavenworth. We thought, "This can't possibly be right, it must be furthur down the street, where it gets really nice." But we continued to follow the directions, which took us just a few houses furthur, to this:
This was Alps Romance Suites. A house in the middle of the trashiest neighborhood that someone fixed up a little bit and started renting rooms out to people, calling it "suites" which of course leads people to believe they are staying at a nice hotel or resort. Very, very nervous, we get out of the car, terrified of what we would find as we got closer. This was the first thing we saw:
The broken fence, an entire section missing. Then, this:
The "beautiful" fountain made of that lime green cement that pools at old creepy motels are made of, and it's absolutely covered in algae. This is what we found under the porch at the front of the house:
A pile of cat poop. Now, what you need to know is that Alps Romance Suites has a VERY strict "NO PET" policy that results in an automatic $250 fine if violated. We also saw a mangy looking cat roaming around the yard.
Okay, now you must refer to the continuation of my story, as I have to show the rest of the pictures and have reached my limit on this post. Scroll down to next post.
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