Saturday, April 5, 2008


Every week as I peruse the web in search of potential victims for This Week in Hollywood,
there are always a few celebrities who consistently pop up, at least once every week (if not more), seemingly for the sole purpose of irritating me. I see picture after picture of these
poor unfortunate souls and every week think, "It's a shame I'm already using a picture of them." So I decided that I would love to highlight these characters and, obviously, tell you all what I really think about them. Because that's the best part of having this blog.

I apologize to any fans of Amy, but I'm going to go ahead and assume that
your admiration is for her music alone and not her bizzare eccentricities.

I don't even know where to begin. The hair. What is with the hair?
It's like Elvira mated with the B-52's. And the combination of her ginormous hair and big face with her teeny tiny little body makes her look like a human lollypop.

The tattoos. Now, I'm not a huge fan of tattoos period, but nothing is less attractive to me than a woman covered in them. And she insists on bearing them, always, along with her stomach and often much more. And the eyeliner....oi. Who is her stylist and why does he/she still have a job?

Not to mention the train wreck that is her life. The drugs, emotional breakdowns, husband in jail,
public drunkenness and nudity...she makes Britney look like Brooke White. (The friend in the picture...drag queen, or just trying to keep up with Amy's fashion? Your call.)

I think someone must have told her once "if you got it, flaunt it" and she
took it and ran with it...and ran...and ran...

I think she and Paris should battle it out for the self-proclaimed title of
"God's Gift to the World."

I mean, really, who stands like that?
I'm embarrassed for her, truly.

This picture sums it all up. There are no words.


Okay, I'll only beef with this girl is that she is famous for NOTHING.

Becoming famous for being in a reality show simply because
you're rich and snobbish sums up everything that is wrong with this world.

Giant sunglasses...check.
Tiny dog...check.
I'm one jail stint away from being Paris Hilton!

Okay, I sat here for five minutes trying to figure out something
comical that she could be saying into her phone, and couldn't.
I would love to see if someone else can come up with something.
What do you think?


[M] said...

I love that you are a pop culture connoisseur. Do you watch The Soup? It's might give you good ideas for your weekly column:)

Noelle said...

amazing. this last girl (who is she?) is seriously the main reason i try NOT to care about hollywood. why are these people famous and not the amazing people i know? i love this post. you are my link to this world of poppiness. thanks for that. i love a good laugh. i had never seen a picture of amy winehouse. i'm worried about my dreams tonight. :) and about the lady on the phone, it's got to be something about what she just bought at the store in those ginormous bags or about her dog at the doggie day care.and yes, i'm reading this post while listening to conference. yeah, i know. bad me.

Lee said...

I am seriously laughing my head off. Seriuosly these are so true. Especially Lauren. Love it.

Lisa said...

Thanks for profiling 3 of the train wrecks of entertainment. I can't for the life of me figure out why anyone like Winehouse. The one song of hers I heard was horrible. Then you have Ms. Carey, who still thinks that she is as hot now that she was in
1991. It really is embarassing.

And then the head of them all..that chick that was on some reality show on MTV. She is living proof that there are way too many people in this world that have nothing better to do than to take pics of a never was.

And in the last pic, that dumb blonde chick is telling her agent.."Well, yes I know, I haven't done ANYTHING! But could you please get that photographer from US Weekly to take some more pics of me and FruFru my dog? I want people to love me!" Or maybe she was just holding the phone because she knew some mensa was there with a Kodak. Take your pick.

~The Donald

Alicia said...

M-A~ I used to watch The Soup all the time when I had cable--I loved it! I miss it.

Donald~ That was exactly along the lines of what I was thinking she was saying into her phone!

Lisa said...

Ummm.....the picture of Mariah and the could those midgets lower themselves to that. I am ashamed for them.
And Lauren, I would be so embarrassed to be you. Truly famous for nothing...what an accomplishment. And I think Donald's right....she must have been holding the phone to appear to be one that everyone is dying to talk to.

dandee said...

I like Amy Winehouse's music. Her life leaves something to be desired though.

Lauren: "I just got my mani done with the hippest new shade."

Someone please tell her that black polish is so last season.

Anonymous said...

I love L.C.

Rachael said...

Um, yeah... I have never seen Amy Scaryhouse and hope to never do so again. Maybe you should put a warning label on your Week in Hollywood when there are pictures like that!!

And Mariah Carey in the white dress just makes me wanna sing "who let the girls out, woo, woo, woo"

I think Lauren is saying " Oh my gosh Whitney, I have the biggest wedgy.....Whatevs"

Kristi said...

You guys are funny. That's pretty much all I have to say. Thanks for the laughs! I have no idea what to say about that girl. Maybe she's listening to her horoscope, wishing she had a life worth living.

Kristi said...

Wait, "a life worth living" kind of sounds like she'd be better off dead, and I don't advocate that. I'm tired and too serious right now. Honestly, I really feel sorry for her for wasting her life when she could be doing so much more with it if only she knew. Abd sometimes I feel like if only I knew, I could be doing so much better with my own life! Go figure.

debsters said...

Oh Alicia, I feel so out of touch with the lifestyles of the rich and famous and crazy: until I read your updates. Thanks.

andrea said...

Lauren Conrad and Kristin Cavalleri are the 2 people I look up to most. How could they NOT be famous after their stunning and heart-felt performances on classic TV shows? Their memory will live on long after their tans fade and their roots grow out.
I never have gotten the whole Amy Winehouse thing, I'm SO glad to hear I'm not the only one!

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh, Andrea, that was HILARIOUS!! You are so funny!

Rachael~ Sorry to scare you, hope you didn't have nightmares. But I have to say, you were pretty quick with the Whitney comment...I think you just revealed that you're a closet "The Hills" fan!

Anon~ I'm sorry...that you like L.C.

Anonymous said...

Don't be sorry - I'm happy that I like her. Obviously other's take some enjoyment from watching her show - or it wouldn't be on. Maybe we're just in different demographics;)

Heather said...


tharker said...

Once again, you've nailed it Alicia.

Sadly, no matter what anyonetells Mariah, she will never listen. She will be that 60 year old lady that people are just embarrased to be seen with. Think Magda on "Something about Mary"...that will be Mariah.

Amy Winehouse...scary!!!

Rachael said...

I am no closet fan of The Hills, I LOVE that show! I watch it all the time, I have been invested in these peoples lives since Laguna Beach. It's my new Saved by the Bell!

polka dots said...

So right about Amy and Mariah. You've found the words for what I'm thinking everytime I see pictures of either one of those ladies. What are they thinking?

Ms. Kristen said...

Who is annonymous? Crazy women on Rd 80?
All I think of is who would go shopping in all white? White purse? and nail polish, black bags, black wallet, black cell phone? this staged? Who has time to corridinate like that?

Alicia said...

So Rachael, does this mean we can't be friends anymore? Anonymous, I'd say the same to you but I have no idea if we're friends.

Jan said...

Kristen, what are you doing to my name in here really. I am not afraid to use my name girlfriend.

I think that Amy's hair is a good idea for how to carry around your 72 hr. kit with you in a stylish way. Great idea thanks Amy.

And Mariah, I think that it is time to take that nomination more seriously on What not to Wear. Staci and Clinton are really quite fun.

And Lauren,that phone call I was trying to make to you was for your own good. I really think that you should meet with the missionaries. At least your carrying around that Book of Mormon I sent you. The money that is sticking out was for your first tithing payment. Call me back and let me know how your reading is going.

Alicia said...

Oh Jan, I don't know what I would do without your comments. Your 72 hour kit actually made me laugh out loud, which is rare. I love you!!

Rachael said...

I hope this will be one of those things we just don't talk about. If I had to pick though, I would cancel my dvr on the whole show just so we can stay friends.

Alicia said...

Aw, Rachael, I'm going to cry! That's true friendship. From now on Lauren Conrad will be referred to between us as She Who Must Not Be Named.