Sunday, April 20, 2008


So with the news this week that Ashlee Simpson and her fiance, Pete Wentz, are expecting a baby, I decided to do a This Week in Hollywood: Baby Edition. (Yeah, I know I was supposed to do one of all the celebrities I like, but the storm cloud over my head is making it hard for me to be all cheery and positive right now. I have a feeling that making fun of celebrities is going to make me feel a whole lot better.) There seems to be a slew of stars with "baby bumps," and I know some of you have been wondering what you could send these happy parents-to-be for a baby gift. So, having the insider knowledge that I do of the goings on in Hollywood, I thought I'd give you some ideas of stuff I think they'd appreciate.

Ashlee Simpson
Prevacid (for that pesky acid reflux), eyeliner (for him, not for her),
and a gift certificate to Rodeo Drive Plastic Surgery
(where they "treat everybody like a celebrity.")

Angelina Jolie

Baby's First Passport and a school bus converted into a van

Gwen Stefani
A L.A.M.B. romper and a bottle of peroxide

Jamie Lynn Spears

Fortunately for her, Jamie Lynn doesn't need much.
Just a diploma, a husband, and about four more birthdays.

Tori Spelling

Their own reality show (cause two just isn't enough), Season 3 of
90210 on DVD (Donna Martin graduates!), and a guest appearance on Cheaters

Nicole Kidman

Sunblock, Unisom, and man hair for her husband

Angela Kinsey

A poster of her baby wearing sunglasses and playing the saxophone.

Jessica Alba

A DVD of Into the Blue, so she can always relive the glory days:
her body, pre-baby

Minnie Driver
A onesie that says Who's Your Daddy?

Lauren Conrad

Okay, she's not pregnant.
That's the nicest thing I can say about her, Nicole.


michellemybelle said...

Donna Martin Graduates is the funniest thing I have heard all day. I think you and I watched that episode a few times just to make fun of it. Good times.

lindsay>boo said...

These cracked me up Alicia. I laughed out loud about the Angela Kinsey one. That was great.

tharker said...

These were awesome. I loved Jamie Lynn Spears' list of needs.

Did Ashlee finally admit that she really is pregnant?

Nancie said...

You are so witty. That was hilarious.
Jamie Spears? what a moron.
Just watched into the blue on tnt or something the other day. Albas body was incredible! hopefully she'll never get that back.

keep this up.

PRP said...

SO stinkin' funny. Jamie's list was my fav too.

Vanessa said...

I love your This Week in Hollywood! It makes me laugh every time.I didn't even know Angela Kinsey was pregnant! Has she been missing on the Office? I can't remember.

dandee said...

perfect, perfect, perfect!

Brenda said...

What a great way to start my Monday!

Rachael said...

How do you come up with this stuff?! You kill me. I too favored the Jamie Spears bit. What is the story with Minnie Driver? I didn't even know she was preggers, so I don't understand the "Who's your daddy"

Alicia said...

Tiffani~ No, she hasn't. But apparently a close source has confirmed it.

Vanessa~ She's been on the office. They've been desperately hiding her belly with her desk, papers, etc.

Rachael~ She just announced she was pregnant a while ago, but refuses to say who the father is.

Lisa said...

so i have to admit, when i got to LC, i had to do a double-take. i was like no way!!! i really wish you would have put amy up there too, i know she's not a celeb...but i have no idea what to get her freaking baby. ;)

emahaf said...

Just thought I would pop in for a thought, I loved your list of calebs, they were great I laughed a ton. Are you guys going to be eating birthday cake for a month?

Sara said...

Love it love it love it.

Shayla said...

Nate and I laughed the hardest at the Jamie Lynn Spears one, you are too funny. The "man hair" was priceless, as well. I'm glad you're still too cranky to do a "nice" Hollywood bit, who wants nice when you're talking Hollywood? :-)

debsters said...

My first thought is how do they all look so fabulous while pregnant?

The Donald said...

I love how Angela can be such a snag on The Office, and then actualy look friendly when she wants too. She is going to be sitting behind her desk for a while longer it looks like.

~The Donald

meohmyers said...

You seriously make me laugh out loud at the computer. My kids are constantly asking me, "What's so funny?" when I'm on your blog.

Loved this!! You're so witty!

Alicia said...

You guys are too nice. You make me feel so great. Someone please tell my husband that you think I'm funny.

Noelle said...

oh man, this is so good. angelina jolie is soooooooo beautiful. i LOVE angela kinsey's list. i can't believe you could remember that on the spot while you were thinking of this. i really do love these posts.

Alicia said...

Noelle, I knew only true Office fans would get it. I think the only reason it stands out so clearly in my mind is because that was the very first episode we ever watched!

polka dots said...

I liked the Nicole Kidman one. You are so funny.

Nicole said...

Ahh yeah, that's what I'm talkin about.

Look at you all being nice to L.C. -- oh shoot, I knew something was on tonight.

Seriously, that was hilarious. Angela Kinsey's was my fave. I would have never come up with that one. You've got skills woman. Tell Bill I said so!

Lisa said...

umm.....I am so out of it. I didn't know that most of those ladies were pregnant. Jessica Alba, Nicole Kidman??? News to me! Thanks for keeping me in the know.