Tuesday, February 19, 2008

"Well, if those are the teeth, and that's the tongue, then that must be the uvula!" "Ohhhh...so it's a girl house."

How many times have you actually used the word "uvula" in daily conversation? Yeah, me neither. But lately it's been the topic of discussion at our house:

Night before last, 4:00 am
Bill: Sweetie, something's weird. My hangy-down thing in my throat feels three sizes too big.
Me: Huh?
Bill: Will you come look at it?
Me: Uh, sure.

I looked inside his mouth and said, "Yeah, it looks a little red and swollen." Then I thought, well, I don't often look at uvulas, maybe I'd better compare it with mine just to make sure. After viewing my tiny little uvula in the mirror I responded with, "HOLY CRAP! THAT SUCKER'S HUGE!!" His uvula was literally at least three times as big as mine, almost filling up his whole throat. He couldn't talk without gagging and he couldn't sleep because when he laid down it felt like he would swallow it. I'd never heard of such a crazy thing in my life, so of course I ran to Dr. Google and searched "swollen uvula" (I won't deny the hint of weirdness I felt typing that in) and good ole' Wikipedia came through. Apparently a swollen uvula is nothing to worry about. It can be caused by snoring (okay, but why did it just happen tonight?) or a bacterial infection, among other things. It said nothing about causing difficulty breathing, which had been my first fear, and that it should last only a day or two. So I wished him and his uvula well and went back to bed. He slept the rest of the night propped up in our recliner so as not be suffocated by his over-sized uvula. It resumed its normal size yesterday, then started acting up again last night. So there was much discussion before bed about Bill's uvula.

Bill: I really hope my uvula doesn't swell again.
Me: Yeah, hopefully your uvula will let you have a good nights' sleep."

I was going to post a picture, (yeah, that was his first comment after seeing the engorged uvula taking up his throat: "Grab the camera!" So there I was trying to snap a picture as he's trying to keep his mouth open long enough for me to, but can't because he keeps gagging. I keep backing away yelling, "Don't throw up on me!" And he says, "I won't, get closer, get a better shot." So I zoom in as he starts gagging again. It's truly a shame no one else was around to witness this.) but I don't know what is considered too graphic for public viewing. It's kinda gross.

I won't deny that I'll be a little sad when the whole uvula fiasco is over. It's really fun to say.

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